Call Me Cruella
It always seems like such a good idea at the time. The merest hint of a good day and I go into 'take up your mat and walk' mode and decide, for the umpteenth time that I'm cured and should run a marathon. In half an hour, back to front and walking on my hands. Ah self delusion. It's a wonderful thing. More powerful even than chocolate.Suitably deluded,
My bright idea? After forgetting my pin number
I was right. It hurt. Whilst I'm on the subject I'd like to ask my elbow why it thought dislocating was an appropriate response to it's neighbour, my wrist dislocating? Inside it's
When I got to the cash point I was, to be blunt, fucked. Karmic revenge for the injuries I recently inflicted on the captain I suspect. The plan had been to sit down with a coffee/chocolate concoction and rest up with a broadsheet for a while in the cafe over the road from the cash point. Which was foiled by the cafe being closed. Apparently they'd been so busy they didn't have any clean dishes left!
As I'm getting
Later, I came home...and dropped my neighbour's 10 week old puppy. On it's head. Onto concrete. I suspect that kitty #2 vomiting all over the floor was her way of expressing disapproval. The puppy was too traumatised to think of that...or maybe it was just p'd off it had been dropped on it's head instead of the milk it had expected to receive by chewing on my breast.
So now...not only am I a penis breaker, I'm a dog crippler too.
7 comments:
The things we do for chocolate! ( 0r to forget it happened!)
I wish I could have been there, I would have been no help, but perhaps I would have made the full "Crip" set!?!!
Sorry didn't get time to ring you, wee one only settled at half 11...the fecking dr mentioned surgery thinking that she wouldn't understand,,,,,,
Ms O
You DO know, of course, that having broken his penis, you are obligated to kiss it and make it better. So to speak. Or not.
Come on, every day is an adventure! You'd just get bored otherwise x
The lure of the elusive god chocolate.... very powerful stuff.
Hope all broken bits of captain and the puppy are back in working order asap!
x
MsO: No worries chick, just hope littl'un is feeling better by now. I don't envy you your day out in this weather! Call you tonight if you're up to it. Hugs x
Lou: Bwahahahah!
Cake: Too right it is-I don't know how 'normals' cope with the sameness of their lives! ;)
FB: You know I'll do anything for chocolate
Hope the animals and you are okay.
Oona: Hello and welcome. The animals are all fine thank you-they heal more quickly than us humans!
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