Monday, December 21, 2009

Mistletoe and Whine

Oxycontin withdrawl continues and a fucking miserable state of affairs it really is. I'm not sure if Oxycontin has been a staunch ally in allowing me to totally delude myself about how much pain I'm really in, or if it's a sneaky conspirator helping to cause the pain. Guess I'll find that answer out when I've finished getting the damn stuff out of my system. Either way it's got to be done as a good 60% of the tablets are still passing through me without any sign of digestion.

That's what I keep telling myself at 5am when the puking or pooing wakes me up to a world of pain. The upside being that I'm a dead set to play E.T if Spielberg ever does a remake. It'd be the one time being a short arse gimp only able to sway from one foot to the other would be a selling point. I shan't hold my breath though, I don't think Steven's got my number.

So yeah. Lots of early morning unpleasantness. This whole thing would be alot easier if it'd let me get some decent kip. And if the police didn't insist on raiding so many previously reliable cannabis suppliers. That's just mean. I'd make a complaint but that'd take far too much effort so I'll just continue fantasising about pain control and the glory days of readily available, affordable weed for now.*

The pain relief will have to wait until Wednesday when I see the locum consultant. I'm hoping it's the same locum rheumatologist I've seen previously as he's excellent, but who knows. After all, why on earth would politicians want to put actual money into a specialty they can't spell and don't understand? Even if there's tons of people on sickness benefits because of things like lower back pain or fibromyalgia. Far more fun to trash talk the NHS and pretend it's fucked anyway, while crossing polyclinic builders palm's with silver.

Mood swings seem to be a particularly fun part of Oxycontin withdrawl. I'm either a grumpy, psycho bitch or a weeping wreck. Adverts seem to be particularly good at bringing out the weeping wreck, but anything'll suffice.

Hopefully it'll all be over soon enough. By the end of today I should be down to the 10mg dose, three times a day**. I hope it's not too difficult to make the jump from that point in 10mg increments because it's not possible to split the tablets in anyway without turning them into Hillbilly Heroin. Oxycontin still isn't used much in the UK, so doctors don't have much experience prescribing or withdrawing people from it. Anecdotally I've heard it's an absolute bitch of a drug to get out of your system, but at least Christmas will serve a valid purpose this year. I would like to be clean and clear of Oxycontin by the time the Best Man arrives to celebrate New Year....though he may not recognise me without my head down a toilet!




*It may or may not restore your faith in human nature to hear that dealers seem to have some sense of honour about people relying on cannabis for medical reasons. People have gone considerably out of their way not just to try and source some cannabis for me, but to source it a a reasonable price.
**Yes, Oxycontin is supposed to be taken twice a day for continual pain relief. That never worked for me so I've always taken it 3 times daily.

16 comments:

alhi said...

Oh, I hope you feel better soon! once it's out of your system what's the plan for pain relief? That is, if it's not the Oxycontin that's causing pain?
I'm providing feedback on draft coursework right now (gone are the days when you just wrote the coursework without any input from the lecturer) before tidying my desk and going home to the parents tomorrow.

I hope you have a good christmas, in spite of the withdrawl, a better new year and a fantastic 2010.

Doctor Jest said...

Poor you. Hope things start to pick up soon. Coming off Oxi can be a "cast iron bitch" or so I'm told. Just one thing though. The mechanism that makes them slow release might also make it look like they're passing through undigested, so you might not be missing as much of the oxycodone as you think based on the "observable evidence". They film coat the tablets with a barrier that resists digestion, but laser cut tiny pores in to let the drugs out. When they first used this technique it was common for punters to come back and say they weren't working because the indigestible coats came out looking pretty much the same. Since some of the early pills were angina pills it was pretty easy to tell if they were still working (which by and large they were) by checking if the punters had seen any worsening of their angina.

madsadgirl said...

Hope that the withdrawal doesn't spoil things for Christmas for you.

If you'd like some wrist warmers just drop me a line and it shall be done.

ASNL said...

I am also a grumpy psycho bitch and a weeping wreck. But no oxycontin to blame. Just damned dark days and bloody christmas.

And a broken fridge.

Fire Byrd said...

Nothing to add but just sending you some peace and love.
xx

Fire Byrd said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Veronica said...

Oh honey, I've been thinking of you.

xx

Sarah said...

That comment from ASNL.

That was me. Must check which google account I am signed into in the future...

Dave said...

Hope you're feeling better soon BG.
My chemo sessions coincide with Christmas and I've just realised I have 10 anti-nausea pills to last the next five days of pill swallowing.(that's five doses)
I hope my GP can prescribe them.


Merry Christmas anyway and wish you all the best for 2010

that_woman said...

Good luck with the locum,hope things ease up soon.

cogidubnus said...

Hope you have a great Christmas Bendy!

kingmagic said...

Hey lil sis...do like I do and drink copious amounts of Guinness...its liquid nutrition and pain killer all in one.
Hope you have a good Christmas...take it easy, Big Bro x

Achelois said...

Hoping you have some merry at christmas BG thinking of you as as ever. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

that northern bloke said...

hey Bendy - hope you're getting some releif.
I noticed your quest for "its a wonderful life" - someone put it up on you tube.The colourised version is there too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_lR6HEdOb8

i got the link from a pretty good library here
http://www.moviesfoundonline.com/movies.php

Happy Christmass Bendy.love ya to bits xx

Mr. Nighttime said...

Hang in there kiddo, and I hope you have an alternate plan for pain relief.

cogidubnus said...

And a happy new year to BG...