Saturday, January 09, 2010

January Joltings

So, um, it's cold. But you knew that anyway. Pointless mentioning it it really. Except, it was words on a screen and I seem to be struggling to find them at the moment. Possibly all the words are hiding somewhere with my marbles, waiting until the first green shoots of spring before revealing themselves to me.

That, or a combination of things have finally driven me over the edge. Jury's out on that one, but I'll get back to you if I fall over any conclusive proof either way.

Mary has written an eminently sensible and informative post about the effect of the cold weather on impoverished cripples. You should really read it, it's full of interesting and useful facts about the benefits situation. A not so healthy winter of hypothermia some years back forever altered my perspective on heating costs. They aren't worth dying for. Not ever. After all, what can the utility companies do, sue me for the money? Good luck to them if they try, being assetless has its advantages. Unlike being cold, which is an all round shit state of affairs. Living so close to the beach is wonderful in summer, but in winter not so much. Fortunately my lovely landlord installed a new boiler in the run up to Christmas so I've thought it best to show my appreciation by not turning it off. At all.

My very nice neighbour delivered a hot meal to me this evening. This is a good job because for some self destructive reason I can't quite remember I decided to get into the left over bread from the Best Man's visit. I have eaten lots of crappy sliced white bread and very little else since then. Gluten is not my friend, no matter how many times I convince myself it does my body no harm at all and decide to reintroduce it
binge on doughnuts. Fortunately this time there have been no doughnuts but that is only because the ice prevents me from leaving the flat at all. The schools may be closed but it'll renew your faith in capitalism to hear the pot dealers are open for business as usual. Mine came round to take me food shopping too. That was a few days ago and my joints are still seriously pissed off at me about it.

I moved into the flat a year ago this weekend. I'm not sure where the year has gone. Actually I'm not sure what happened to the last 1015 years now I think about it. I had some ludicrous notion that the next 10 years had to be better, because really, it's definitely my turn. It was probably that which tempted fate enough to make me start sobbing by lunchtime on New Year's Day, and carry on fairly steadily ever since. Well, that, the gluten, the oxycontin withdrawl, and cabin fever. Roll on spring!


6 comments:

LceeL said...

Are you telling me you don't have enough to eat?

Fire Byrd said...

If I could I'd get in my car right now and come round with a large bag of good things to eat and sit around your place and a quantity of alcohol and talk about cabin fever.
Obviously I can get about, but only to the shop, can't go to work the roads are not safe and my lovely summer car is a complete liability.
So do understand the cabin fever bit only too well.

xx

madsadgirl said...

I'm scared about leaving the house too after my falls on Thursday. However, I have to go out on Monday and on Tuesday for appointments so I will have to go carefully. I also know what it is like to exist on bread, although in my case it is usually wholemeal. With it being so cold I just keep myself wrapped up as warm as I can and hope that this cold spell will break soon.

Achelois said...

BG - You are getting all your faithful followers all worried about you. Whilst I admire your efforts on the oxycontin withdrawal I am not entirely sure you have chosen the right time of year for this. I know I know - no time is the right time. Also I am not sure that your EDS pain as a result is in any way being addressed, which it would seem on reading is having a knock on effect on your mobility or lack of. So I am hoping that this enforced withdrawal will soon be over and plans are in place for you to receive ongoing physiotherapy/hydrotherapy or back to basics on core stabilising stuff at the correct pace for you.

You sound depressed and I don't know if thats clinical, reactive or through lack of sustenance. I wished you lived nearer as I would send other half round with home made soups and gluten free food hampers.

Cabin fever sucks I agree. Could you invite people round for a 'gathering' on the condition that they bring with them supplies to keep you going.

Please please look after yourself. The middle aged bore in me is fretting that things are not quite right for you at the moment and I wish like firebryd I could help!
xoxoxoxo

cogidubnus said...

How I wish you lived (much) nearer me...

Rach said...

For fear of repeating what others have said, I too wish I lived nearer to you..

Please take care Bendy and accept any help offered.

I moan about Cabin Fever and at least I can get out, just going of for a walk now in the slush as it appears to be disappearing round here at last.

Stay safe, warm and fed..xx