Sunday, September 23, 2012

Dear Paul

Sorry to hear how difficult things are for you. 

Most people who go to tribunal with help win. Please contact your local Citizens Advice Bureau and ask them to help. They might have a waiting list, so the sooner you get in touch with them the better. If they say they can't help, ask them who else in your area does welfare rights support and ask them to help you contact them.

Lots of councils have something called a 'One Stop' shop. Its a place where there are council staff to help with all these kind of problems. They can fill out forms for you, you just tell them your answers and they will write it all down for you. 

There is alot of support online but its in writing and that doesn't sound like it'll help much! But, if you do want to join a group or forum for support they will all understand your issues with writing and reading. 

Try to talk to your doctor, tell them what you have told me and how you feel. Pain can be treated. If you are having to lie on the floor because you're in too much pain to get up then you need more pain relief. 

You can phone Social Services to get help for yourself. You don't have to wait for a Dr to ask them. The phone number will be on the website for your local council. Tell them what you told me; that you are not coping, and that you feel so desperate you want to die if you don't get help. 

Ask social services for an Occupational Therapy assessment. They look at how you live and see if there is any equipment or techniques they can teach you which might help. 

Don't be embarrassed to ask for this help if your home is a bit messy! They have seen it all and they'll understand. 

You can phone people just to talk about how you feel. Mind Charity are good, and Samaritans always have someone there to listen. You don't have to give your real name if you don't want to. You don't even have to speak to the Samaritans when you call if you feel scared or embarrassed. Sometimes just being able to know someone else is there is comforting. 

If you get stuck on the floor because of pain and can't get up yourself then the paramedics will come out. I usually think its best to stay on the floor for a little while and see if I can get up myself, but if you've been there more than half an hour, if you think you've broken a bone, or you're bleeding phone for help straight away! 

Keep a mobile phone in your pocket all the time so you can phone for help if you need. Even if you haven't got any credit you can call 999. 

Phone your local MP for an appointment. They call the times they meet with people surgeries. If you can't get out at all you can ask for a home visit or for a phone call from them. 

Please don't feel embarrassed to leave a comment on my blog - everyone here is disabled and we all understand. No-one will judge you for your situation or spelling!

I have put this on my blog because I know you have subscribed and will see it. There are lots of people reading in the same situation so they might find it useful too. 

Come back and look at the comments. There are lots of disabled people and lots of specialists who read here - they will have more ideas about how to help and will leave them for you in the comments thread. 

Take care and don't give up. I know you feel alone, but there are lots of us here thinking of you and we will all do what we can to help you. 

Best wishes, BendyGirl


Anonymous said...

Please dont give up paul, help is out there. Please take on board all the advice bendygirl has given you, i cant really add any more to that except to say when you fall and cant get up, we are there with you, when you are in floods of tears for no apparant reason, we are with you, when you are lying in bed at night unable to sleep, we are there with you. You may not feel our presence, but believe me you are not alone.


Anonymous said...

Hello Paul,
I know getting help takes time & you may feel you can't go thru it all but please hold on.. I am very low myself & sometimes advice rolls over me & seems impossible to follow but 1 step at a time means i have now got a nurse who comes to see me & a volunteer medical car takes me to appointments etc.. It is good advice to ask some one from mind to come & see you & they can support you while you wait for other help (You may not have to wait).. I hardly know what to say really but I want you to hear me saying hold on with me..
I don't know your situation & I know trust is hard but believe me as Ema says you are not alone.. I live by myself & I feel cut off & afraid but here I am sending the biggest long hug to you..
Do keep a mobile on you.. A phone in my pocket saved a lot of pain when i was stuck on cold bathroom floor..
How do you feel about joining twitter? I'm not on facebook or anything like that & wasn't keen on joining twitter but i do feel less alone & have got very good advice, support & even caring & a few laughs.. If you do & follow a few of us we would do our best to go 1 step at a time with coming to know you.. & don't worry about any spelling..
My home & me have become a smelly tip but i am not ashamed.. Man or woman makes no difference to how we feel inside when we have a lot face..
Ask Mind how they can help you to find someone to support you & go with you to a tribunal..
My name on twitter is twowolves & i send all my best wishes to you...

hossylass said...

The darkest hour is just before dawn, and you are in your darkest hour.
But wait, and there will be light again.
You need help to find this light and to make it happen soon.

We will do whatever it takes to help you.

Please stay in contact.

Susan Archibald said...

Happy to help you through it Paul, would you allow @BendyGil to pass me your email address or you could email me so I can give you the support you need #were all here for you Paul when ever you need me x am HERE pls get in touch xxx


sad times said...

Dear Paul,

This is excellent advice.

First get a big diary to put appointments in, a book to put telephone numbers and names of people who you contact etc and a box to put all letters in. Keep it all together in one place. This helps otherwise you lose things.

As Bendy girl has said all the things you can do in a list of paragraphs, if you do it in that order I think it will make things easier and no 1, start with CAB tomorrow.

I know of a case where social services first thing they organised was tidying up the home, so they are well used to how difficult times become.

Hope you do these things and it not easy along the way but the outcome should be better.

Please take care and don't lose hope, it takes time and the RIGHT people, but as one thing begins to get sorted it's one less worry.

Also this blog has helped me as my pain management is not under control at all, so I 'm going to try to sort that as pain in itself is depressing.

Take care and Best Wishes too.