.@Bendy_Cat and #PIP – and why I just had to say my piece
Link to @bendy_cat's TV debut on yesterdays Sunday Politics ShowAn exclusive interview as told to @hossylass
Like “Hi everyone”, and that includes you, my new admirers. Guess you are all reading this cos like, I’m a Celebrity now and you will be hanging onto my every purr. I should think so too! My fame is long overdue, and my Girly (@BendyGirl) will suffer from keeping my light hidden under a bushel for so long.
I think its just jealously… she knew I would be a much more formidable opponent, and I have better fur than her, but like she is totes the idiot sometimes. Anyway, finally she rectified this by allowing ME some tv time for a change.
And not before time, cos a natural born leader like myself has NEEDS. Ok, sometimes those needs are aligned to Girly’s needs, but this feline ain’t going without. And if that means I take the cat-scrap to that Esther McVey person, then so be it – I has sharpened my claws baby, and you is sooo gonna get it.
I think I made my point very clearly in the interview – I repeatedly turned my sexy tush at that camera, and I hope those scheming thieves at tory central got the message. This pussy ain’t for turnin’ so yous better watch your eyes!
So what are my needs? Well I has a touch of the old arthritis, and need a very special mattress – lucky that Girly needs one too, so we share. Girly bought that for me out of her DLA, though sometimes she is so selfish she says she bought it for HER condition primarily as its HER bed!
It’s the same about the heating – I need it warm, my poor old bones and joints are agony. I know Girly has some jointy pain thing too, she takes lots of horrid smelly meds for hers, and then she tries to force horrid smelly meds on me! But I suppose at least she gets enough DLA to keep the flat warm enough that she isn’t crying all the time like she used to. And I have another need met.
But I is a cat, and if I don’t get my needs met I can just pop round to the RSPCA and someone somewhere will look after me. Oddly the Girly seems to have to keep asking, well begging, for help to get her needs met. It appears that there is no RSPCA for humans – like WTF?
Anyhow, its seems that I managed to convince this Esther woman that Girly needs financial assistance for loads of stupid additional needs she has, as this Esther lady said Girly would be OK. Which means I will be OK and can now carry on working on my career.
I fancy moving into children tv – anyone know how this sexy puss can get into it? Answers should be sellotaped to a tin of tuna (in spring water only – gotta watch the kidneys!).
Luv to you all,
Your heroine, BendyCat
(As told to, and translated by, @Hossylass)
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