Thank you to everyone who has asked if I'm ok. Like I said, there's been alot going on lately. I feel a bit like I'm living two lives, one where I'm really happy and one where things are more difficult.
I'm trying not to think about the housing situation. As the credit crunch bites rents are rapidly rising. It is almost impossible to find properties for rent under £400 a month even in areas I'd be nervousall out terrified to live in. £400 a month would already mean a rent shortfall.
Ironically earlier this year the council notified housing benefit recipients that they would receive less rent as apparently the properties had devalued. That was months before the banking problems. Perhaps they knew something, which would certainly be interesting considering the amount of money the same council had invested in Iceland.
I have a sneaking suspicion that one of the ways cash strapped local authorities may try and save money will be further reductions in housing benefit using the same 'devalued property' argument.
It's cold. Colder inside this house than it is outside much of the time. Unfortunately people with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome often have problems controlling their body temperature probably because of the secondary Raynaud's syndrome and/or the problems we tend to have with our autonomic nervous system. It doesn't really matter why, the end result is that it doesn't matter how many extra layers I pile on I can't keep myself warm unless the ambient temperature is high enough, and like everyone else at the moment the price of power means that is a scary prospect.
My mother was told she was in remission about two weeks ago which is great news. She hasn't exactly taken much notice of the warnings she's been given about how dangerous infection can be when your immune system isn't working properly though. I received a text on saturday asking me to go to the hospital as she had a massive infection and wasn't expected to make it through the night. She's now doing fine, but obviously it is a very stressful situation, even before the additional family complications.
On the positive side however there is the other, happy life so I'm going back to pretending all the difficult stuff isn't happening. With all that needs to be done I'm finding less time for blogging but I don't plan on going anywhere....
Yesterday was Blog Action Day 08, and, in characteristic fashion I'm a day late. That's probably because the theme of Blog Action Day is poverty and that is a subject currently on my 'too hard to think about' list.
Poverty is a strange creature. How do you define something so relative? In some parts of the world it means an inability to meet the most basic needs for life. In others parts something rather more complex.
Raising awareness is laudable, but I'm just not convinced it makes any difference.
I'm not convinced because I have experienced the kind of poverty that means going hungry and there's something no charitable campaign will ever tell you.
People already know what poverty is. It's instinctive. Part of what makes us human. Think about it. Really think.
Think of the look in the eyes of every starving child the media has ever shown you. Think what it would really be like to be sleeping on the streets tonight. Think about having enough money to feed your children but not yourself. Think about being so cold you spend all your time huddled in bed, not even able to get up to wash yourself.
Think about how it feels when hope is dead.
You see, if you've been able to imagine how those things feel, how they really feel that is, then you'll have felt that sense of panic rising up within you, bubbling into the back of your throat, threatening to take hold and choke you. It's terrifying, so quite understandably no-one wants to feel that way. Best just push it back where it came from and be sure not to think about such horrors again.
Maybe even donate a bit of money to make sure it stays away.
So that's why I'm never sure that raising awareness about poverty is the right thing to do.
We all already know what poverty means.
We're just too afraid of how it feels to really want to.
So much has been going on it's hard to know where to start. Especially as I'm so scatty I forget at least half of what hear, do or say.
Roland had a car crash. It was a couple of weeks ago now, someone T-boned into the side of his car, creating lots of mess, at least one written off car and lots of blue flashing lights. He was taken to A&E on a spinal board by very sensible paramedics where he was very rapidly discharged by a (very) junior doctor without the proper reviews being made at the time by a senior doctor.
I wouldn't like to be in that doctor's shoes now as the hospital phoned Roland a few days later to say that actually they'd now reviewed his x-rays and where was he, they wanted to see him immediately. He was unfortunately on holiday with his girlfriend and none too pleased to hear the news he had a broken neck.
Roland had to go straight to A&E after his flight landed back in the UK and had a lovely day out being x-rayed, scanned, poked and prodded. At one point he had a broken ankle and fractured scaphoid to add to his borked neck, then he didn't, then he did again. The end result is that he's still in a great deal of pain, unable to do much and deeply mistrustful that any correct diagnosis has been made.
Roland's job as a policeman is pretty active so he won't be going back to work for some time, and is very annoyed to be losing his 'bonus' for not being off sick. He's also upset and frightened about the nature of his injuries and prospect for recovery which has led to some interesting conversations between he and I. He keeps telling me he just doesn't know how I manage to cope and keep a smile on my face. Roland has always been a very supportive friend to me, and I'm just hoping he doesn't have to find out what it's really like to have to cope with such high pain levels every day with no end in sight.
It was Ben's 30th birthday recently so at the weekend we all went to nearby city for a night out. I'd like to say I have more toilet photos from the occasion but unfortunately the first disabled loo was being used by underdressed overweight women to snort class A's gossip with their mates, and in the second place the disabled loo was locked. Not that I can see any connection with the two. Oh no.
Point to note for bar owners. I'm quite sure people taking drugs in your toilets is a serious issue, but locking the disabled loo is not exactly hitting at your target group. Haven't you ever seen how many drunken women can squeeze into one toilet cubicle? Yes, I know it depends on whether it's the obese scantily clad version or the rake thin wannabe WAG version, but still, locking the larger loo's won't deal with this problem with such effect as the odd well placed smear of vaseline.
Still, toilets aside it was a great night out and I'd particularly like to thank the bouncers who offered to let me park directly outside the bar we were in. I think it was watching Ben carry me all the way from the car which prompted that offer, but that's the kind of 'reasonable adjustment' the Disability Discrimination Act was supposed to be about, rather than strictly conforming but useless to anyone toilets. I'm not really into the bar scene, but that's one place I'll happily return to now.
In other news IsplitupwiththecaptainsolongagonowIvealreadystartedseeingsomeonenew. I just forgot to blog about it.
Yes, really.
Woohoo! Who knew I was that special? Yes, I know I'm special in that twisted Minogue sister kind of way, but not so very extra special that I have been voted the top most annoying thing in Britain today!
What? It's not me that actually annoys you? Oh, and you have lots of friends who are gay, black, Jewish, one legged immigrants very nice people. A survey by some weirdy middle class rip off poshed up for little Polly's allergies milk company is clearly a true reflection of current opinion.
Ah well. It doesn't matter. It makes a nice change from being slagged off by all those disability denying scumbags politicians. As I annoy all of Britain so very much I'm off to celebrate my growing benefit scrounger global dominance. After all, they're reading out me in India!
