Sunday, June 24, 2007

Ironing related injuries

Such is the life of an extremely bendy person that many are the bizarre and ridiculous accidents I have had over the years. Which would be why I'm now sat here somewhat lightheaded, a little short of breath and knowing the pain isn't going to really hit until tomorrow. I can track various injuries, two dislocated ribs, a dislocated hip, shoulder, and something in my spine that made a particularly hideous noise on it's way back in...hurt like an absolute bastard too that one! I'm guessing that was what winded me so much when I fell....and the cause of this catalogue of problems, well as social services have deemed that despite all these dislocations they simply couldn't understand why that meant I needed any help (ie they were going to keep insisting that as they are broke and if they stick to that then there is no need to be met...until they turn me into a quadraplegic that is!) Not surprisingly, despite that stunner of a decision by some wanker more interested in moaning about his inadequate salary, my need for help and to continue with life has not gone away!

So, earlier today I decided I would somehow have to at least attempt some ironing...yes, this is an ironing related injury! But, before you (er audience of zero here!) get too excited tragically it's not even up there with truly glamorous ironing related injuries as this mishap occurred before I'd even considered the permutations of a hot iron. No, this lunacy came about from my forward planning...thinking that it would mean a great deal less ironing and therefore possibility of pain/injury if I hung things correctly to dry I at great length had put everything on hangers and clambered all over the spare bed to put them on the picture rail to dry. There the clothes have sat for I'm ashamed to say the best part of three weeks now until today where I clearly mistakenly believed I had both enough co-ordination and energy to contemplate at least having a go at it.
I should've known it wouldn't be that straight forward really, after all it never is where I'm concerned! So, having hung the clothes on said picture rail all those weeks back, clearly I had to get them back down to iron them. No problem I thought, having cunningly only put them around the area of the bed it'll all be fine. At no point did I factor in falling backwards off the damned bed onto a mini fridge!! I would say that it hurt and not to try it at home, but I'm sure that's stating the bleeding obvious, and if not frankly good luck to you!

So, now I am left with as big a pile of ironing as I started with, no idea how to tackle it, and more importantly a significant number of serious injuries I didn't have before I started this, pain which I'm attempting to ignore but is worsening by the moment, no desire whatsoever to go anywhere near A&E on a sunday teatime, and a sneaking suspicion that after all the twat of a social worker has just got what he wanted....to dump the financial responsibility off onto the NHS.....complete and utter cunt.

2 comments:

Ordinary Girl said...

I appreciate this comment is a little late, but as I'm a newcomer I always think it polite to go back to the beginning of someone's blog and read through to present day. After all, I wouldn't start a book halfway through!

Anyway, just thought I would chip in with ironing trivia, or rather hints to prevent ironing (to which I have a particular aversion1). I have found, through years of trying different techniques that the best way to get crease-free clothes is to
a. wash them on a setting where they sit in water for a while before the final notch to spin
b. remove as soon as possible from the machine
c. shake (hard) each item and fold neatly, smooth down, place in pile
d. repeat c for each item
e. leave wet, folded pile of washing for as long as possible - preferably overnight
f. hang on line, hangers, radiator until dry (radiator technique also allows for extra smoothing of clothes!).
g. Ta dah!

Now that may all seem like a lot of effort, but really doesnt take that long - and considering I have used my iron possibly 6 times in the last 12 months, well worth the effort!

PS. I can do that thumb hyper extension - only on my left hand though!

BenefitScroungingScum said...

Hello OG, lovely to see you here, and wow, thanks for reading all the way from the beginning...I often do that too.

Wow, you really do hate ironing! I've got a similar system going to you...though it went wrong with the hanging bit that time, lol! I also tend to leave the clothes in the machine when I'm knackered and end up washing em several times over!

I've got it sussed though now...my neighbour's doing all ironing, result! Bendy Girl x