Tuesday, April 29, 2008

But you promised

The covenant is broken.

In this so called war on terror there are many victims, but few so hidden as us. Those who love those who fight. So quietly it seems few have noticed, lives are being destroyed, people fall by the wayside as yet more promises are broken. In a forgotten war, happening only on flickering screens in corners of rooms, diluting, distancing. Sanitising.

The covenant is broken.

To fight in this war means constant danger. Danger impossible to understand by those of us safe and sound. Those they protect. Those they believe in. Those they love. Those they are kept from by never ending pressures in faraway places with faraway names

The covenant is broken.

Danger with no end. Sights seen, so impossibly real they return. Over. over. over again. Haunting both day and night. I trace the scars. Flesh, once so perfect and unmarred. Raised and pitted as it heals. A round entry wound. Marks a moment I cannot kiss better. No matter how I try.

The covenant is broken.

Pain wracks me. Sobs so powerful I cannot suppress them bend me in double. Never knowing if he is alive or dead.

The covenant is broken.

Today, tomorrow? News reports I cannot bear to watch. Can't bear not to. Real, brutal, horrifying. No safety screen when a moment's edit may reveal the face of those you love. Amongst broken bodies of proud men and women no-one wants to remember.

The covenant is broken.

I can still smell his scent on the pillow. Sheets still marked with the pattern of our love making. The familiar, comforting aroma of tobacco lingers. By the time that disappears he will be long since gone. An empty place in the fabric of daily life. Gone but not forgotten. Absence marked by all manner of trivial daily events. The empty chair at every meal.

The covenant is broken.

I hope, one day he will be home. I hope I can help him. For who else will?

The covenant is broken.


Jim said...

what a deeply touching and thoughtful post BG. There really is nothing that could be added to it.

Vi said...

I know exactly how you feel hon. I truly hope it works out better for you than it did for me.

LceeL said...

I have been to war. A war unsupported at home. A war everyone wanted to forget. A war now long over and done with. I still see things in my head - I still dream things at night - I still wake in a sweat - I will never forget. Never. It's been been 42 years since I came home.

When he comes home, hold him, let him know you appreciate him and what he's done. And when he wakes in the middle of the night, wipe the sweat from his brow and kiss him back to sleep. It's all you'll be able to do. But it will be enough.

cogidubnus said...

In a worthless government, Brown has long stood out as a creature who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing...

His ignorant treatment of the gurkhas is abysmally disloyal, his treatment of British serviceman nothing short of shameful...

Frankly the sweat up a serviceman's arse is worth more than his opinion on anything...he should go, and go now...

Semaj Mahgih said...

The covenant is indeed broken. I echo Jim.

BenefitScroungingScum said...

Jim & James: TY. I fear things will get a great deal worse before they start to improve.

Vi: Hugs for you. I hope so too, but it's not looking good.

Lou: Thank you so much for sharing that with me x

Cogi: Well said! But who will replace him?