Monday, April 25, 2011

Extreme Vegetable Chopping - Bendy Style

Entitlement to the lower rate care component of Disability Living Allowance is assessed on the claimants ability to prepare a meal using fresh ingredients and an oven or hob, ie not a microwave ready meal. This video was made on a particularly good day, as on bad days I cause chilligeddon incidents just trying to get a meal prepared for me out of the microwave.



What neither Truffle or I realised is that it took me the best part of 5 minutes to chop up half a cucumber. That seemed entirely normal to both of us, but I assume most people can chop up an entire salad in less than that time...

14 comments:

Wordsmith_for_Hire said...

Yes, 5 minutes for a whole salad! I reckon I can chop a whole cucumber in 30 seconds or less. But then I don't have bendy joints. My main fear is having a seizure after I've lit the gas hob. I really shouldn't be cooking unsupervised as I live alone because of the risk.

I was also fascinated by *how* you chop, presumably because of your joints again. I'd be scared of chopping a vegetable *into* my hand like that - what if the knife slipped? Isn't that what the board is for? :-)

BenefitScroungingScum said...

Seizures and cooking so not a good mix!,

I chop that way cos I don't have enough strength in either hand to use a knife - even through cucumber. By touching the knife blade to the other hand I can tell where it is, but have had plenty of slips in the past and sliced into my hand. Worst one was many years ago when I tried to cut a piece of beef and ended up lodging the knife blade in the bone of my finger. This is one of the many reasons my neighbours all cook for me ;) BG Xx

Mary said...

I got to about 40 seconds before I had to turn it off in a "hiding behind the sofa cushions, don't want to see the gory bits" kind of a way. Sorry.

It's a difficult balance to try and accord - sharper implements make it easier to slice things, but unfortunately those things include fingers.

Mostly I tend to use knives that are far too big for the job at hand (on occasion, even a cleaver) as it's easier to see where they're going at any given time, or, if I'm having a good day and feeling confident, I use an Ulu knife which is dangerous as hell, but when you're using it you are pushing and steering from directly above the blade, which I found was more effective for me, and it's curved so you can just rock it back and forth and hope whatever's underneath ends up chopped.

Oya's Daughter said...

I have a cuisinart. Or I just don't chop stuff! My son has gotten used to eating mashed potatoes where I've kept the skin on as I just can't peel potatoes anymore.

Still swear I am going to buy you some gauntlets, woman...what about those veggie-holder boards I've seen knocking about on Eden Mobility, or are those pants?

Emma said...

All too familiar a reality! great idea to film it I may get my friends to film some of my bendy struggles for my appeal! Speaks louder than the words they dont believe.. x

Wordsmith_for_Hire said...

Hell, yes. We should all have a stash of homemade videos to show for when we get called in for ATOS medicals or whatever. They definitely speak louder than words and they must surely be legal to submit as evidence in support of a claim - on the basis that the miniscule number of benefit fraudsters who get caught out are invariably caught on film, such as playing footie when they say they can't walk unaided. If that's legal, it must work the other way round!

Nakki said...

Chopping fruit and veg is one of the most difficult things for me to do now. I used to be able to take down every veg in about 5 min and turn it into a salad. Not anymore....Glad you posted the video so others can see what it's like.

If they only realized how many dishes we break. It's plastic for this girl.

Keep your chin up over there!!

BenefitScroungingScum said...

Comment left by Bubble Girl (and accidentally deleted by me)
I don't have any matching dishes...

Watching someone else who's bendy is a bit frightening! Actually doing it is not so scary, but I'm sitting here watching the video with a chant in my head saying "Don't slip, don't slip, don't slip."

When I make stew (which I have't in nearly a year) it takes me about 2 hours to do the prep work, all the chopping, and slicing. Start with the meat, put it in the pot to brown on low heat, by the time the veggies are ready the meat's almost burnt, so throw in all the water, spices etc... But I also make enough to feed hubby and I for a week solid. Stew for breakfast, lunch, and supper. And I don't peel my potatoes at all anymore. Just wash them, and cube them.

Anonymous said...

and thats why i have a food processor... best 30 pound i spent

BubbleGirl said...

I forgot to mention, I once dropped a steak knife through my toe while I was unloading a dishwasher. When I was living on a farm in the middle of nowhere. Kitchens are dangerous...

(Thanks for re-posting my comment!)

misspiggy said...

Good grief people, this is terrifying to watch - and even more scary when you read the comments!

I could identify to an extent, but when I tried to explain the 'not knowing where the knife is' thing to my non-bendy hubby, he found it almost impossible to get his head round. Was very useful to help him to understand my more klutzy moments!

On a practical note, would a mandoline slicer work? (such as this one, no blade contact! - http://tinyurl.com/5syq2mm)

RockHorse said...

Nearly five minutes for chopping half a cucumber sounds about right to me, lol. I'm almost tempted to get someone to film me making my famous tuna and mayo pasta. Except that it would be feature length - about 1hr20 last time - consist mainly of me massaging my fingers between brief spurts of approximately two whole turns of the can opener, and end with me giving up the project, mixing a dollop of mayo into the tuna still in the tin and eating it FROM the tin. With no pasta...

xJ (capcha=achedsm - v. apt!)

e said...

Kudos to you for sharing this. I need to make a video of me when my torn up bendy knee goes wonky and I fall down...

Maddy said...

How can I put this diplomatically.....I've heard it said that it takes more effort and calories to eat a stick of celery.....The same must be said of all that effort to cut the darned cucumber. Suffice to say that I shall NOT be showing that horror video to my little ones. [although they're not quite so little these days.]