.@Bendy_Cat and #PIP – and why I just had to say my piece
Link to @bendy_cat's TV debut on yesterdays Sunday Politics ShowAn exclusive interview as told to @hossylass
Like “Hi everyone”, and that includes you, my new admirers. Guess you are all reading this cos like, I’m a Celebrity now and you will be hanging onto my every purr. I should think so too! My fame is long overdue, and my Girly (@BendyGirl) will suffer from keeping my light hidden under a bushel for so long.
I think its just jealously… she knew I would be a much more formidable opponent, and I have better fur than her, but like she is totes the idiot sometimes. Anyway, finally she rectified this by allowing ME some tv time for a change.
And not before time, cos a natural born leader like myself has NEEDS. Ok, sometimes those needs are aligned to Girly’s needs, but this feline ain’t going without. And if that means I take the cat-scrap to that Esther McVey person, then so be it – I has sharpened my claws baby, and you is sooo gonna get it.
I think I made my point very clearly in the interview – I repeatedly turned my sexy tush at that camera, and I hope those scheming thieves at tory central got the message. This pussy ain’t for turnin’ so yous better watch your eyes!
So what are my needs? Well I has a touch of the old arthritis, and need a very special mattress – lucky that Girly needs one too, so we share. Girly bought that for me out of her DLA, though sometimes she is so selfish she says she bought it for HER condition primarily as its HER bed!
It’s the same about the heating – I need it warm, my poor old bones and joints are agony. I know Girly has some jointy pain thing too, she takes lots of horrid smelly meds for hers, and then she tries to force horrid smelly meds on me! But I suppose at least she gets enough DLA to keep the flat warm enough that she isn’t crying all the time like she used to. And I have another need met.
But I is a cat, and if I don’t get my needs met I can just pop round to the RSPCA and someone somewhere will look after me. Oddly the Girly seems to have to keep asking, well begging, for help to get her needs met. It appears that there is no RSPCA for humans – like WTF?
Anyhow, its seems that I managed to convince this Esther woman that Girly needs financial assistance for loads of stupid additional needs she has, as this Esther lady said Girly would be OK. Which means I will be OK and can now carry on working on my career.
I fancy moving into children tv – anyone know how this sexy puss can get into it? Answers should be sellotaped to a tin of tuna (in spring water only – gotta watch the kidneys!).
Luv to you all,
Your heroine, BendyCat
(As told to, and translated by, @Hossylass)
9 comments:
In, like, total (p)awe. You need an agent puss. Aint gonna get on wiv your telly career wivout one. Your girly needs a bit more like, respect. Cos even if you say she's like a totes idiot at times she chose you yeah? Be good to each other and keep your furry arse to camera when it's during an interview wiv you know who. Laters...
Oh BendyCat you are so lucky that you are living in the age of the RSPCA, getting the support that you need and yes, it is a shame that Girly needs to fight for her financial assistants - there are some silly, heartless humans out there.
:)
You're so right, Bendycat, cat-kind has got this help thing like totally sorted. Unfortunately for the Girly and the rest of us, things have gone to, well, the dogs. I mean the non-cat-people are actually proud of that analogy, calling themselves the bulldog breed and the like, but from where the rest of us are, we're up to our asses in pitbulls and just too busy trying to survive to give our feline overlords their proper pampering. Sigh.
Tuna. Ta for reminding me. My Wheeliecat wont take his meds without it.
But it's true. There's a shifting in the ConLib Quantilian - the universe of neither here nor there, where a device may be developed to determine what you can buy and when. If you fast forward that, we'll have to be first refused a purchase, and then appeal.
Keeping in mind that most people on benefits, any benefits, are employed or open to employment?
But as far as I can see there's no appeal structure in place. Lots of peeps use Post office (not Post Office bank accounts, only accounts to receive benefits nothing else) I can see they may be open to abuse by the government.rib
No idea where that .rib came from. Soz.
Genius.
Cats are clever, y'know.
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Hello, Bendy Cat. I'm Sunny Cat and I live with someone called Sunny Clouds. We've both got arthritis, although she's a bit peculiar as well. My vet gives me this really nice medicine. Sunny Clouds puts it on top of my food because she knows I like to lick it off.
Mind you, I like it when she massages my creaky joints, too. I don't want the strange patches her vet gives her to stick on herself to kill the pain though, because they'd get tangled up with my fur so it's just as well my nice medicine works.
Just wanted to leave a message of thanks for your hoomin, BendyCat - thanks to her and others things are going to get less difficult for us hoomins needing a people's RSPCA! (#PIPclimbdown)
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