The thing about being a cripple is that you find yourself in situations you never would have dreamed of. Especially sex related ones. Whilst the world may be obsessed with sex in it's every infinite variety, I've yet to see anything mainstream and vaguely decent relating to crip sex. And no, those fetish sites don't count.
I should've realised this much earlier on in my crippled existence. Perhaps the first time I had to ask for help to shave my own armpit should've been a warning sign, but never one to learn I constantly find myself the victim of misfortune. Mostly my own.
Those who've been reading BSS for a while may remember Freddy. In all his obscenely large glory. Since then in an attempt to move him away from The Great Pretender stage and towards The Love Of My Life I've made a few efforts to get to know Freddy better. I'd like to tell you they were successful and I've been keeping my neighbours up nights screaming with pleasure, but sadly it's not to be. Freddy is still an over sized and over rated let down.
Very annoyingly my favourite toy is once again out of batteries, and does not have Freddy's one redeeming feature of easy to change batteries. And of course I forgot to ask the Captain to change them when he was last home. Which led me to the unenviable situation of having to figure out who to ask to change them for me. I value my friends, but rather suspect the request to put new batteries in my vibrator could be a step too far. So I asked Roland. Knowing full well his response would be to laugh alot and make some comments about how dirty the whole thing is whilst pretending he's not getting off on the idea.
Despite Roland being well up for the idea of battery monitor I then forgot to actually produce the toy and batteries. I plead car sickness as a mitigating factor. 10 minutes of winding lanes at 90+ mph never does much for my stomach. Even after a break wandering barefoot round the police car park I was still staggering when I got home. So that's why I forgot. Honest.
Which leads me to the point of this ramble. I need a new toy. This being where you lot come in. Ahem. It must be latex free and not require an engineer to change the batteries. I liked the idea of a rabbit because it provides penetrative as well as clitoral stimulation, and that combination is vital for me. I'm quite happy to use two toys to do the job, so long as it's not too complicated. The mantra 'do not drive or operate heavy machinery' is a good one to remember.
This is not just for me though, I've also been tasked with toy buying for someone else. A woman in her early 50's with zero experience of sex toys. The only information I've been able to elicit from her is that she is not allergic to latex and that it is all about the penetration. And that once I've bought the toy I am to hide it in her bag and never mention it again.
So there you have it. Rather than make another expensive mistake I'm asking for the benefits of your collective wisdom. What worked, or not for you? Anything you'd really recommend, and just as importantly advise steering well clear of? I'm inclined towards some sort of wand or bullet and vibe combination, but does that require alot of manual dexterity? Will a rabbit be too intimidating for someone completely new to the world of sex toys?
Once all advice is in and I make a decision about what to buy I promise a review will follow. Although, that could take a while...depending on how effective said toy is ;)