When the wind blows

3/23/2009 03:02:00 pm BenefitScroungingScum 10 Comments

Only the cat is howling louder than the wind which is currently preventing me from leaving the flat. The poor cat is howling because she's not pooped in at least 4 days and refuses to go near the enticing mackerel and lactulose combo I've left out for her. The wind has no such excuse. The cat can probably blame the chipsticks she stole from the bag for her current condition. Thank goodness for lovely vet student friends and the Bendy Mafia. Oh, and to the NHS for supplying the lactulose!

Being me I thought the easiest option was to use one of my 5ml measuring spoon to give Kitty
#2 the correct dose*. I should probably have thought that through a little more carefully as I'm now going to be enjoying the benefits of mackerel flavoured lactulose for some time to come.

Anyway, as I can't get out of my front door and need to distract myself from the pungent lacto-mack aroma it's time to blog about the flat. I've only been here 2+ months!

The flat is great. Not having stairs is amazing. Not having a bath is a pain in the back, hip, rib, shoulderarse. Despite all my upset, even the coin meter is great. I can't actually turn the handle without dislocating something, but it means no monthly electricity bill and is excellent for increasing awareness of how much power you use on a daily basis.

Having a 17 year old boy living upstai
rs is not so amazing, although he is a paragon of virtue compared to the drunk middle aged man who was subletting there when I moved in. I'm sure none of my readers need this advice, but just in case....telling your neighbour you intend to drill holes in the floor so you can watch them in their bed is unlikely to win you their affections. Oh, and knocking on the door whilst pissed out of your mind to 'borrow a cup of sugar' probably won't endear you to them much more. No, not even if you invite them to share your dinner. The one you dropped all over the road weaving your drunked way home from the take out place. Oh, and while I'm at it, ex drunken neighbour man, see a doctor for both your belly and boy bits! Can anyone tell the soundproofing between the two flats is non existent?

So in addition to middle aged drunks and teenage boys I do have some more pleasant if less amusing sources of blog fodder living in the same road. Within a couple of days of my moving in many of the neighbours had introduced themselves, and my next door neighbours had spotted the wheelchair in the boot of my car and volunteered their children for the weekly wheelie bin duties. All the neighbours know Kitty#2 who apparently sits in the window gazing down on them with true feline regality. The many little girls living in the road absolutely love Kitty#2 and when the sun shines I can be found surrounded by a group of pre teens competing for both mine and the cats attention's. All very cute.

Deathwalking is harder but so much more fun here. I was close to the beach at the last place I lived, but not within my walkingstaggering distance. Smoking dope immediately before deathwalks has its
benefits, but obviously rules out driving anywhere. The beach is so close I've currently got a pile of sand in my lap which somehow manages to get into the flat through closed double glazed windows. Whilst that's a disadvantage on days like today when I don't even dare stick my head out of the front door, its a wonderful luxury when it's not blowing a gale. I make hot chocolate and sit on the bench just a few feet away to watch the sunset.

* You can safely give a cat up to 5mls of lactulose every 12 hours, although they find the taste unpleasant**, however if they are 5+days w'out pooping consult vet, or if they still don't poop after lactulose. Mackerel non essential.
**Understatement of the year!


alhi said...

The poor cat!
Your new place sounds lovely and it also sounds like a reasonably friendly neighbourhood.
Love the shoes/boots you are wearing in one of the photos!

Dark Side said...

Sounds very lovely and the photo is gorgeous, hope kitty manages to poop in the next few days, Holly is murder if she doesn't go for a day.

I have the same thing with kids and cats on windowsills wouldn't have to clean the windows so often if the kids stopped running their fingers up and down for the cats to chase...lol..xx

alhi said...

Thanks for dropping into the blog. I'm so-so, up and down and all over the place. Hanging on for easter break and hoping something will snap into place over that.

Ugh! Lactulose! They give that to patients with liver disease if they start developing what is called hepatic encephalopathy. Essentially, if your liver isn't doing its job, you build up toxins, especially in your brain, and the lactulose cleans them out along with anything and everything else inside of you.

Don't ask me how I know this. Please, just don't ask. Too many bad memories. ;-)

Your ex-neighbor actually tried the "cup of sugar" trick? Sheesh! He could have at least been honest and asked to borrow a cup of Jack Daniels.

Anonymous said...


I'm so glad to hear that your new flat has worked out well for you despite the efforts of your upstairs friends!

You are a woman after my own heart. I feel I ain't living unless I have both puss cats and the sea in my life. Roll-on summer when we can all get out and about more to enjoy sunshine and sea breezes.

Anonymous said...

aaaah Bendy my sweeting it has been far too long since I was over here.Sorry about that but I am all caught up now and just waiting for the video clip to load..

mackerel mmm yummy hehehe

17 year old boys clomp. They are so unbelievably noisy, it must be like a football team is living upstairs not just one lad.. At least the middle aged pisshead has gone..

I have just finished reading about Sam and that post was very sad but beautiful. bloody doctors are still the same today, well some of them at least GAH..

The sunrise is just starting to look promising So I am off to take a couple of quick snaps.. (((hugs))) to you my bendy friend

Unknown said...

My Dear Bendy Woman (I think I used to fantasize about something like that when I was a lad - or maybe it was a gymnast) I'm so glad your flat is to your liking. And your pissy neighbour is gone. But watch out for the hormone laden teenager.

And I love the view.

Trixie said...

Ahhhh...I knew you would find something better in the long run! Glad to hear the drunk is an EX neighbour now!

Fire Byrd said...

Sounds like you've fallen on a good
spot there... only a small pun intended!!!

Achelois said...

Where have you gone, are you ok? don't understand twitter at all. I am hungry again so needs must fridge calls. Have worried you have A and E'd or maybe thats me misunderstanding twitter comments! Missing you here and hoping kitty is ok. Photo's are beautiful.