Y'know, there is an actual proper reason for all those warnings to not download dodgyness from the internet. Not that I believe photos of people who happen to be naked are dodgy or anything, I'm no hypocrite. Which is how I've ended up with a virus on my laptop, an experienced downloader of dodgy photos would never have been so daft!
It started yesterday. Blame twitter. It gets blamed for all sorts, so why not the virus on my laptop? A friend tweeted me to alert me to a conversation on Ian Collins late night talk radio show which had featured a guest with problematic hypermobile joints. Now, I'd never heard of TalkSport, let alone Ian Collins or his guest Peta Todd so I was eager to find out more. Unfortunately there's no listen again feature on TalkSport so my friend explained that the glamour model Peta Todd had been talking about the problems her hypermobility has been causing her of late, most recently she dislocated her hip running the marathon. I was intrigued and went searching for photos of Peta Todd to see for myself how bendy she is.
Which explains how I managed to download a virus. A proper pain in the arse, still haven't got rid properly after 24 hours, and many scans with AVG, Spybot, Ad-aware and most recently Avast kind of virus. If, as it kept informing me, it was logging my keystrokes, then dear virus, go fuck yourself. Meant only in the politest of ways of course. I am a lady. Just one who's a bit inexperienced in searching for nekkid photos of other ladies. Oh, and while I'm at it, I've got no money. Don't bother nicking my identity....though, if you do, you can take the being spazzed up part as well. Hey, it's not just politicians who can be harsh on us benefit scroungers. I can too. No spazzness no benefits. That'd really make you rue the day you decided to steal someone's identity.
Anyway, back to Peta Todd. She's seriously gorgeous, but then you'd expect that for a bendy woman, we are after all conspiring to breed a new bendy super race. She's also intelligent, well informed and very involved with Help for Heroes; in fact she's enough to send a straight woman sapphic. She's gone straight to the top of my Beautiful Bendys list, even with the virus. Just look at her and tell me you wouldn't forgive her that yourself? It's ok, I made sure not to link to the virus photo. I'm considerate like that.
My joints must've come out in sympathy with Peta's because in addition to virus fighting I've been fighting my lack of proprioception all day. I was congratulating myself on doing really, really well for managing to open a jar of coffee when I somehow managed to throw half of that coffee all over the kitchen floor. Where it joined the water and sugar I'd already spilled there in a sticky mess. I know better than to attempt floor washing in such a state so settled for sweeping up the mess. Twice. I dropped the first effort all over the floor.
I'm fairly sure it's not the coffee attracting in the local cat population. I blame twitter for that too. All those tweeters raving about how good Culpepper catnip was meant I treated BendyCat to one of their catnip mice. Twitter was as usual right. Cats l o v e those toys. Every single bloody cat in the neighbourhood loves that mouse. Except for BendyCat. She won't go near it now an endless stream of drug seeking kittehs have waltzed through her catflap and indulged themselves in a narcotic drooling frenzy. To add insult to injury, BendyCat is old and cripped up cat style so she can't even chase the nipnicking moggies away.