Saturday, September 18, 2010

I get by with a little help from my friends



Sometimes words are hard to come by, stubbornly hiding in shadowed corners unwilling to show their faces. Then othertimes they fall from my fingers, in fully formed sentences tumbling over themselves in their eagerness to hit the page running. 

I'm all out of spoons, overdrawn and in debt to a bank with far harsher repayment terms than any to be found on a high street. I've been here before but this time I know the warning signs. My body has had enough and unless I heed it's red bordered demands for payment it will exact it's own. 

My DLA form sits across the room taunting me. It's late, of that I'm sure but with the most recent DWP ruse of sending out just the one letter and form warning people their award is due to finish and needs to be reapplied for, with the careful caveat that 'we will not contact you again' there is no date to be broken. I did not receive the DWP's only letter but fortunately knew to contact them and ask for another. How much money is saved by this trick I've no idea, but its sure to be a whole lot less than the damage it does to the lives of people dependant upon the system without the ability to navigate it. 

My printer broke. I don't know what's wrong with it, but if I'd spent as much time as it did bouncing around the back of Ben's old transit van I'd refuse to ever function again too. Those forms have to be printed off and sent back this weekend though, if not there won't be enough time before my current award ends for the DWP to make a decision. My ribs were all put back into their rightful places by my physiotherapist J yesterday, but lasted only a few hours before deciding that was all too much like hard work and concertinaing straight back out again. It was all a bit too much for me to be honest. 

Fortunately, unlike the last time my body was in this bad a way, I've been diagnosed with EDS long enough to know I'm not somehow magically capable of doing this to myself in the pursuit of attention and to have friends around me who find even the idea of that utterly bizarre. So here I am, on the sofa, my feet up, trying to be good and rest. GangstaGuy, despite being on carer duty for his mum and not my boyfriend has come to my rescue. Again. He's printing out my forms and driving the 40 minutes or so to bring them to me later on. With dinner if I need it and shopping so I don't have to go anywhere. And exhortations to 'at least try to rest please babe'


So I am. But I wouldn't be able to without his support and friendship which has changed my life for the better. I tell him, but writing it down means he'll always know just how much he really means to me.


I get by with a little help from my friends.

10 comments:

Ian H said...

So good to have friends, nice touch with Beatles vid.

Poppy said...

I am left gaping. DWP sent my letter to my neighbours house 'in error'. I had not realised they were actually doing it on purpose. Like you, I am grateful for the wonderful people in my life that make it bearable. Now, though, I am really bloody angry at the system.for all these dirty tricks!

BenefitScroungingScum said...

Poppy: I'm not suggesting the DWP deliberately send letters to the wrong address, or that they don't send them. I am suggesting that coincidentally reducing the overall number of claimants is likely to be thought well of by the department.

Veronica said...

Friends are amazing things. Less so the DWP. Ugh.

Nemonie said...

I'm sending you lots of virtual hugs and the strict caveat to rest. My wonderful Dad purchased a private appointment to go and see prof G in London for my 30th, We went on Tuesday. I, apparently, obviously have EDS-H and he is going to write snotty letters to my GP and current rheumy telling them off and recommending the right treatment. \o/
I've just got to apply to the DWP for a supersession to my DLA as I'm on lower rate care at the mo. That'll be fun!!!

Fire Byrd said...

Lets hear it for friends, where would we be without them. I would be lost and alone for sure.They make my world tick.
xx

Casdok said...

I would give you some of my spoons if i had any to spare :)

Emma said...

I have not read such an eloquent writer on the subject of life with EDS anywhere else, and by putting your words out here for people like me is an act of friendship in itself, and is hugely appreciated believe me! This post in particular echoes my experiences so closely that I cried my heart out.. as here I am sitting on the floor awkwardly as is the only way to type today, my spoons are not only used up, but bent beyond even the imaginings of uri! I have a neck that wont turn, knees that mislay their caps, a spine that screams at me and a new delight.. my left ankle has started to dislocate, for no apparent reason. I wouldnt get a single thing done without my friends, to the extent that I feel so much shame for it I can hardly look them in the eye. I am considering a canine partner, have you heard of these/considered it? I'm Emma by the way :) I hope you check out my blog too, I do artwork about having EDS that you may appreciate :) Thanks again your blog is a great source of comfort, and knowledge x

Dave said...

BG- sorry to hear this. I hope you can recover soon. You've done a lot lately, what with the house move, new scooter and all.

I'm feeling good after all the chemo. All that's letting me down is my lack of stamina. What I think I can do and what I can actually do are two different things, and it's frustrating (and guilt inducing) having to rely on others when they used to rely on me.
Your true friends all love you for who you are, not what you can do for them, so take some time out, and let your friends do something for you. I'm sure they're happy to do so. I would, if I lived closer...

Toemailer said...

A great song that will get you through tough times more than most other things.