I lay in bed last night feeling quite sorry for myself, in fact, sorry enough for a tear to slide down my cheek. But then, as tends to happen when tears arrive, my nose started to block up and I realised I was far too sorry for myself to deal with that. So that was the end of that. I decided I'd better be cheerful instead and look on the bright side of life.
I have a BendyBus! What's not to like? Well...BendyBus has returned from the garage where it had been for almost a week...and broke down more times than I could count on the way home. I'm not sure if the garage were too busy to look at it properly or whether they just didn't know what's ailing BendyBus but they liberally applied WD40 and didn't charge me anything. Which was very nice of them as they did drive me home and the
robbing bastards company contracted to provide NHS wheelchair services wanted a £40 call out fee for private work. On top of service charge, any parts oh and some labour too. Which they didn't provide an actual price for. Which also reminds me they still haven't come back to fix my NHS wheelchair. Private companies doing NHS work with taxpayers money. Aren't we all glad they do such a reliable job already they won't need to clean up their acts to bid for more of that lovely taxpayer money coming their way? I'd stamp my foot if I hadn't already learnt my lesson about that leading directly to dislocations. It's a definite flaw in the system that politicians don't receive similar direct consequences to force them to learn from their mistakes, and just think how much more entertaining PMQ's would be!
Garages and mobility companies be damned, I know what's wrong with the BendyBus. It was very obvious when I thought about it sensibly. BendyBus requires constant charging, energy, warmth and attention. It looks pretty, uncannily like a fully functioning mobility scooter that has nothing wrong with it. BendyBus tries it's absolute best to do as it's told...only to immediately run out of power any time it's asked to do something hard...like, say, moving. Then it collapses in a big bendy heap on the pavement wailing "you can't make me". It's even in the name. That's right, the BendyBus must have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. There is no other possible cause. Batteries, chargers and loose connections be damned.
Only I could end up with a mobility scooter with EDS; it's not like you can go to the shops and try to buy a scooter with it, they hide amongst all the fully functioning scooters, looking all shiny to convince the world their excellent health is the very reason to take them home. Then as soon as you're out the door it's collapse on the pavement in a big heap time. This is taking the bendy seeker gene to a whole new level.
What with the BendyBus, the bendy seeker gene and the rest of my latest internet purchases it's probably for the best that I can't get out much at the moment. I appear to have taken inebriated online shopping to a whole new level. After the purchase of 6 bottles of mineral water heavier than myself caused by stoned reading of post apocalyptic swine flu literature I had thought I couldn't sink any lower* but this time I've outdone myself. I've bought a Onesie online. So now it's official. The BendyBus really is bendy and I am absolutely, definitely NEVER getting laid again.
*In case anyone's interested they were very cheap and ConventGirl is still drinking the last of them as I had to give them to someone who could move the bottles out of my kitchen.