Showing posts with label job broker. Show all posts

Falling off my soap box

As anyone who follows my prolific but nonsensical tweetings already knows....I got my mattress yesterday! It's official, I'm in love with Tempur. BendyCat seemed keen too, she being a tad arthritic of the hip, but then bed is her favourite place anyway. I think she's still there now. 

But, Tempur. Omigod. Tempur. "How shall I compare thee to a summer's day. Thou art more lovely and more temperate"* Did I mention I love Tempur yet? Except for one thing, Tempur, your website is terrible. Get that sorted and a twitter account set up immediately. It's no fun tweeting endlessly about my love for you when you're not there to benefit from it.  I'm boring myself back into bed droning about Tempur so I'll shut up. After this next declaration of love at the least. I tried other memory foams, oh how I tried, Tempur being about a zillion times more expensive than the other memory foam mattresses and toppers available. There's a reason for Tempur's high price, and it's that it doesn't feel like other memory foams. With most memory foam products they mould quite nicely to your body in a soft kind of way, but they aren't particularly supportive. Tempur somehow manages to combine soft moulding with a secret wizardry which means your body is well supported in it's moulded place. Even someone like me who could out sleep wriggle any sleeping toddler. I'd heard that Tempur products can be a bit hot and sweaty, which may be a good state to achieve in bed, but is less desirable when it's your bed doing it to you. Or maybe not, I s'pose it's all a matter of perspective. I wasn't too concerned about the hot, sweaty thing as I tend towards the ice cube end of the female spectrum. Confirmed by last night needing a hot water bottle to add to the warmth of a 15 tog duvet and a purry BendyCat. 


Ok, that's my Tempur love in done. I promise. They make you keep the box for the 2 month trial period but that can be chucked out as there's no way I'm ever letting this mattress out of my grubby paws. GangstaGuy pointed out there is a flaw in that logic as I have puny little sparrow hands** but you take the point. I love my Tempur. And I love you all very, very much for helping me buy it. 

Fortunately Tempur delivered my mattress well before I had to leave to go to Pain Clinic yesterday. The good news is I don't have to go back again. Woohoo! It's sort of implied in the name that it won't be the most cheerful of experiences but I seriously object to the pain of being fleeced of £2 for less than 30 minutes parking. I'd be far happier about it if the money went directly to the service I was going to use rather than being used to send endless stupid letters back and forth or employing more managers and somehow denoting them as front line workers.*** At least the nice clinic clerk went to get the parking thingummyjig from the machine for me as you can't pay either inside the building or at the exit forcing you to walk or wheel. Another stunning example of accessible design in our public sector. You'd think it might've occurred to someone somewhere that people going to a Pain Clinic might not be the sprightliest. But then that would involve actually putting some thought into these things beyond how much money can be made. Did I mention the good news is I don't have to go back again?! 


Dr Pain and I had a nice if slightly depressing chat about financial deficits, how far the new ConDem government will cut back on public services particularly the NHS and welfare and the implications of such cuts for services like the Pain Clinic. Dr Pain is a consultant of the old school, a nice man who is interested and interesting but the whole experience confirmed my feeling of the inadequacy of the current model being used for pain management. The role of medicine is important, a cornerstone of pain control and should be done by a doctor rather than a nurse, just as the exercise role should be undertaken only by qualified physiotherapists. But, they are not the people who should be delivering the management part of pain control. Physiotherapists and doctors are naturally going to think and act in a traditional medical model manner, which is all well and good for medicine but not so much use in helping people find ways to successfully live with their chronic pain conditions. Some Pain Clinics use expert patient schemes and most try to deliver some kind of pain management course but the lack of success of these is because they aren't being delivered by the very people who can understand and teach the necessary pain management skills themselves, people successfully living with chronic and painful conditions. With welfare reform being high on the list of the ConDem government's plans to savecut benefits, money will have to be spent on more innovative ways of helping those with chronic conditions into the workplace, and lack of appropriate pain management is a barrier to work for many. The future of successful pain management lies in Pain Clinics being able to directly employ such patients to deliver services to other patients. 'If life gives you lemons, then make lemonade' is a tough enough lesson to learn from someone in the same boat as yourself, but one guaranteed to patronise and push away if delivered by someone without direct experience of it. 

Whilst I'm on my soap box...the idea to scrap current job broker schemes is an excellent one, but could we do it properly and save some money by actually using the current single provider we already have. Y'know, those JobCentre things? I'm no economist, in fact my grammar school education has rendered me unable to add up further than the number of fingers and toes I possess, but I'm very, very certain that it will cost less and be more effective to put some money into Job Centres and tap into the skill of the advisors who were all doing the job of private job brokers far better until New Labour decided the whole thing should be taken away from the Job Centres and put into private companies. You may have that snippet of widsom for free Iain Duncan Smith, but please, please do me a favour and employ some actual currently unemployed people, particularly crippled and mental claimants to help you reform the system to one which will actually work and protect those in need of protection without driving us all off to Switzerland.


Dr Pain seemed sure that the withdrawal symptoms 'should have stopped' by now. He's a nice man so I didn't tell him that I've tried telling my body what it should and shouldn't be doing before now with very limited success. Ok, outright failure but limited success sounds so much more positive don't you think? What's that you say? Deluded. Yeah, maybe. I kept this stream of consciousness to myself during the appointment all the better to bore you with afterwards. Dr Pain suggested that I remain on a twice daily 10mg dose of Oxycontin as a 'holding dose'. I sort of mumbled non committally and went away fully intending to do no such thing. I haven't spent months going through this Oxycodone fuelled nightmare not to finish what I started. There is also the fact that on nothing more than sheer, gut instinct I feel Oxycontin is contributing to the problems I'm having at the moment. If at some point in the future, perhaps when the weather gets colder, I am unable to control my pain I'm happy to go back onto stronger forms of pain relief but I don't want to do that without being damn sure I haven't got another option. The Jobbing Doctor will perhaps be pleased to hear that I came away from the 'specialist' appointment with an increased confidence in my GP's ability to handle opiate withdrawal in a far superior manner than the Pain Clinic's. Now I need to somehow pass on that confidence to my lovely GP who is understandably inexperienced in the management of a complex Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and for it perhaps less sure of her own ability in this particular situation.

You'll have to excuse me now. I need to go and make love to my mattress. 






* Sorry Will, it's shit I know. I can hear you turning your, and my, future graves from here.
** I know. GangstaGuy is a man who comes up with the most creative of (un)complimentary descriptions.
*** I have no evidence for this, but I'm damn sure NHS trusts are busily involved in such activities already

Pathways to confusion

On Monday I attended the local job centre for my Pathways to Work interview. Pathways interviews are held in jobcentres with a Disability Employment Advisor (DEA), the idea is to offer support tailored to the individual's particular health condition and concerns with the eventual aim of moving the person into work and away from benefits.

The interview was booked prior to my having the flu, so I didn't think I needed a home visit. I could definitely have done with the day in bed, let alone the home visit, particularly after spending the previous night without central heating. As I'd got muddled up and thought I was going to an Employment and Support Allowance assessment type interview it didn't occur to me to phone and cancel.

Unsurprisingly parking was tricky, though thanks to the blue badge I could park on the double yellows. I was fairly confident that the 'accessible' entrance system would be just as inaccessible as it was two years ago when I went to see the jobs broker. Sadly my confidence was well placed. The intercom is still sited approximately 5feet up the wall, and
the token doorbell at a height a wheelchair user would probably have to strain to reach. On arrival you need to push the intercom, wait for someone to answer...and then just wait. And wait. And wait. For the, ahem, age challenged security guard to walk all the way down from the main job centre. Not an easy task if you struggle to stand up. Obviously there isn't anywhere to sit while you wait!

I was already pushed past my limits when I arrived, waiting to get in and going up pretty much finished me off. I was an attractive, grey coloured, shaking wreck when I arrived. I'm really not sure how I avoided hitting the floor face first. I just headed for the nearest seat to reception and focused on that. The staff were extremely kind, and one lady approached me immediately to see if I was ok, bringing me a tissue and some water.

I've previously met my DEA (Hi S!) who is lovely. Unlike every experience I've had with job brokers, the DEA's know their jobs well, understand the benefits system and crucially the kind of support people with health conditions need to move into work, and have the ability to recognise those who are capable of it. I have no idea why job brokers were introduced as they are incredibly expensive and doing the job the DEA's were already doing, except the DEA's did the job far better and more cost effectively.

It's evident I'm not fit for work so we didn't bother discussing what I'd need to make it possible. This DEA is good, but I reckon a cure for EDS is beyond her remit. What we did discuss was something called 'permitted work'. Broadly speaking, 'permitted work' is for people with health limiting conditions who would like to try a certain type of work to see if it's possible for them, without ending up having their benefits sanctioned. The rules state a maximum of 16 hours 'permitted work' a week, and that the work must be relevant to moving into work whilst not contravening the individual's entitlement to an incapacity benefit. So, for someone with learning difficulties it might be appropriate to try a bricklaying course as 'permitted work' but for inappropriate for someone with a back problem. The individual can earn up to £93.00 a week whilst on 'permitted work', although that may have an impact on entitlement to other benefits such as housing or council tax benefit. The 'permitted work' may be continued for a period of 52 weeks, which can be started or stopped if needed. Once the 52 weeks is up the person either has to move into paid employment or if they are unfit to they will remain on benefit but no longer be allowed to do 'permitted work'

It's all a bit convoluted as anything to do with the benefits system is, but basically it's one of the better ideas to help support people into work as it allows for a gradual process. It seemed like a great idea for me to legitimately be able to try to earn some money from writing.

Except...you're only allowed to do 'permitted work' if you are in receipt of Incapacity Benefit. I'm in receipt of Income Support which means I'm not eligible, despite meeting all the same criteria for incapacity. It's incredibly frustrating.

Just not anywhere near as frustrating as seeing tax money spent on duplicating existing services with poorer quality, more expensive services and demonising benefits recipients so no-one cares enough to notice

More Job Broker

Originally posted July 10th 2007

So after all that hassle, I finally get to the room to meet the jobs broker. I was bored, miserable and fed up when I went to the jobs fair, frankly all common side effects of being without a job, and even though it was a complete and utter waste of time (and bigger waste of money!) I still figured I had nothing to lose by going along to meet this guy.

The meeting had been arranged over the phone, and at the time I'd thought I was talking to the much older man I'd met at the jobs fair. So really I didn't think much of it when he was asking about places other than the job centre to meet in my local area and just said the job centre was fine for me. He mentioned a cafe several times which I thought a little strange but not dramatically so until I arrived at the meeting today and found it wasn't with the much older man I'd thought I was meeting but a guy around my kind of age. Odd, not massively so, just well, odd.

Some years back, before I was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos and when the doctors didn't know what was wrong with me so thought it just best to tell me I was lying/attention seeking/needed a psychologist (choose whichever label you like, they were interchangeable and I never even got to see a psychologist!) I signed up with a different job broker. There seem to be rather alot of job brokers. No actual jobs for people with disabilities, or anything tangible being done about that situation....just well, alot of job brokers. I signed up with this job broker after being told that it was only possible to receive help from a job broker if you signed up to them...and that it's only possible to receive help from one particular job broker at a time. Apparently they receive funding for each person they sign up. So I sign up expecting that I'll get help appropriate to a disabled graduate in my situation. What I didn't at any point expect was to be hassled constantly by said job brokers to attend completely inappropriate courses on CV writing skills, confidence boosting, how to job search etc. All well and good, but not appropriate for my needs. I certainly never expected the postman to bring me envelope after envelope containing photocopies of job adverts from the local papers. Job adverts with deadlines days prior to my seeing them...or they would have been had I been waiting for the job brokers to cut the adverts out of the papers, photocopy them and send them to me via snail mail instead of simply looking at them all first hand in the local press like I was doing. In the end I managed to find a job myself and the job brokers were able to put it down with their figures as I'd been signed up with them whilst looking for work....aren't you glad this is all funded by your taxes?

So fast forward through getting really ill without knowing why, losing job, being diagnosed with EDS and here I am, in the job centre wondering why on earth I'm speaking to another job broker. That feeling grew. He said he understood I was looking for a job working from home. I said that I had some fairly major concerns about whether I am physically capable of working yet, and particularly managing to maintain anything regularly, and of course the position that puts me in with regards to benefits and managing to earn enough to support myself. The job broker wanted to know 'what was wrong with me' and why that caused problems with work. He told me that he thought someone in his office had 'that thing you've got that I can't pronounce....that doesn't it make your organs in the wrong place' er, well no, and not having been to medical school I'm not even going to start guessing at what the thing that makes your organs in the wrong place might be! I tried to explain to him that EDS is a collagen disorder, causing frequent joint dislocations, meaning it's extremely painful and tiring, that it's difficult to do basic tasks and I never know from one day to the next what tricks my body will play on me, but I could tell from the way his eyes kept drifting to my breasts that I was on to a bit of a loser. I told him it was like the difference between a 'normal' body being held together with super glue and my EDS body being held together with a piece of gum someone has chewed then left in the sun to go runny...he said he though it was a good analogy then looked at my tits some more.

By this point I was really uncomfortable, in every way. I apologised and said I had to get up and move around. My hips and SI joint were screaming and I had no choice but to lean my upper body flat on to the table to lever myself up, probably giving him a view right down my top. To his credit the jobs broker managed to carry on talking as I wobbled next to the chair, my hip visibly flicking in and out of it's socket. He talked about life coaches, listing skills, transferable skills, lots of nice things, until I said that was all well and good but I was afraid it simply came back to the same few problems again. I live alone and so have to be able to earn enough to support myself whether that is topped up by the benefits system or not. To earn enough to support myself on a part time wage from home I would have to earn at a relatively high level and part time home based jobs are notoriously low paid. The answer to this apparently was to book in at the job centre and have a 'back to work' calculation done to see whether I'd be better off financially working or on benefits. I said that I'd done that for myself several times the answer to which was to tell me I couldn't have done that! Apart from the fact that actually it's not that difficult to do on a rough basis, there's a very handy website which helps you figure these things out and now the jobs broker knows about it too.

I tried to explain to him that I had other concerns to do with practical issues, like for example how would I manage things when I had a more substantial injury or was ill and not able to work for a period of weeks or even months with no-one else to support me financially or practically. The answer to that apparently was that now New Deal is set up so that if for health reasons you have to go back on to benefits it happens within a day, but every experience I've had of the benefits system tells me that might be a nice idea but is about as far from the reality as it'll get. Nor do I believe that a job broker would sort it all out. More to the point though I like so many people have a fluctuating condition that goes through periods when it's more stable than others and that this the very system supposedly set up to deal with such issues doesn't even know what they are to start thinking about them let alone try to understand them.

The jobs broker told me that since I get Incapacity Benefit I can do something called permitted work and keep up to £86 a week. I said I didn't get Incapacity Benefit apart from the National Insurance credit contribution part and got Income Support instead. He wanted to know why. I then had to explain to him that it was to do with my lack of diagnosis meaning I'd not gone on to benefits until after I was 25 and so not been protected by the young person's rule despite having been ill and unable to work for years before that so I don't have the national insurance contributions either to entitle me to Incapacity Benefit. He said that as I get Income Support I would only be able to keep the first £20 of anything I earn as long as I work for less than 16 hours a week, and after £20 money would start to be deducted from my benefits so he suggested that I try to work between four and eight hours a week in an office, just to see how I got on at first and only keep the first £20. He said he had to be completely honest and say that in his experience often even just a few hours like this triggered the removal of the care component of Disability Living Allowance. He seemed to have forgotten I'd said that for physical reasons I needed to either work completely or almost completely from home.

I didn't need any sort of 'better off' or 'back to work' calculation to know that this is a situation that can only make me worse off even before I look at the finances. These are the very people the government have set up to try and address the barriers facing disabled people entering the workplace and address the numbers in receipt of sickness or disability related benefits yet seemingly few or none of these people actually have disabilities or any real understanding of the vastly differing barriers faced by us. There are specific and valid reasons I would need to work part time and from home and I know full well that doing so would increase the physical pain I endure every day, increase the fatigue, and practically make my life more difficult without any support.....but still it's something I want to do and feel will be worth doing. Simply ignoring the barriers I face and reasons for those problems and suggesting I 'just' do a few hours a week is not an answer, nor is the knowledge that the one and only non means tested benefit intended to meet the additional costs caused by having a disability will in all likelihood be removed purely because managing to find paid or unpaid work gives faceless bureaucrats an excuse to claim the care needs I have must no longer exist.

I apologised to the guy and said I felt like I'd wasted his time. I simply couldn't be bothered trying to explain to this young man who'd fallen into this job after university, unable to find anything he actually wanted to do, that I wasn't being difficult or negative, but that these are all the barriers stopping me finding a way of working and ignoring them because you don't understand them or know how to deal with them won't make them disappear. Part of me felt impossibly frustrated and part even more resolved that this is something I will have to figure out for myself as the system makes it impossible.

As I left the room I was faced with several blank key coded doors. I couldn't remember the way the security guard had brought me through the building and there was no way I could see of contacting a staff member for help. No one was in sight, the main job centre being on a different floor and there was no where to sit and wait. I took the only decision I could which was to use the main entrance with stone steps down to the street. Fortunately only a few, but precarious to say the least whilst clinging on to the side of the building for support and hoping not to be surprised by any additional dislocations sending me sprawling head first. I made it back across the road the way I'd came and gratefully into the car.

As I drove away I saw a hedgehog crossing the road, all spines and bluster looking so very vulnerable against the metal of my car. I stopped and dithered about getting out to carry it safely across, childhood warnings of fleas and disease ringing in my ears so I continued on home only to be compelled to return later to check it was safe.

Job Broker

Originally posted July 10th 2007

Now, this was a meeting with a jobs broker in a job centre linked to New Deal for disabled people. You'd think it'd be in any easily accessible location, wouldn't you? Well, you might not consider it, but maybe if you did you'd hope as it's a government building, for an official government programme to try and get disabled people off benefits and into employment it would at the very least be easily accessible to said disabled people. Well, that'd just make life too easy really, and make far too much sense for anything involved in the public sector! Far better to make those scrounging cripples into public enemy no.1 and try to make everyone believe they and they alone are responsible for the mounting cost of the welfare state.

The Disability Discrimination Act 1995
was the first time disabled people were given legal rights in the areas of employment, education, buying or renting land or property and access to goods, facilities or services. 1995! And still not all of the Act has come into force. Part 3 of the Act requires;

service providers to make “reasonable adjustments” for disabled people. A service provider is required to take reasonable steps to:

  • change a practice, policy or procedure which makes it impossible or unreason-
    ably difficult for disabled people to make use of its services
  • provide an auxiliary aid or service if it would enable (or make it easier for) disabled people to make use of its services

In addition, where a physical feature makes it impossible or unreasonably difficult for disabled people to make use of services, a service provider has to take reasonable steps to:

  • remove the feature; or
  • alter it so that it no longer has that effect; or
  • provide a reasonable means of avoiding it
  • provide a reasonable alternative method of making the service available
In practice you tend to hear this referred to as 'making reasonable adjustments' which often is all that is needed. Sadly, all too often being reasonable is far from the reality.

So, I turn up for my appointment at the job centre to find firstly that I can't park. This for me is a fairly major and common problem. Like many people who struggle with their mobility my GP referred me to be assessed for an electric wheelchair. I need an electric wheelchair or suitable powered aid because my upper body is funnily enough attached to my lower body. Even more strangely that means both my upper and lower body have the same genetic disorder...whaddya know! It sort of makes sense really! What doesn't make any sense is to be refused a powered wheelchair on the grounds that 'they aren't provided for outdoor use unless you first use one solely indoors for a minimum of six months' eh what? This is to be the subject of a post in it's own right, but suffice to say that due to more NHS, Social Services, public sector, actually I don't know who quite is responsible for wheelchair services, stupidity I don't have a wheelchair because I'm not capable of self propelling and don't have someone to push me around. God that's one hell of a good way of cutting costs!

Back to the job centre...where thanks to our local council's dramatic refurbishment of town there are now only spaces for 3 cars outside job centre, and of course all are taken. I had to park in a side street, which in small town land was luckily close enough, but then had to figure out how to negotiate kerbs and modern cobblestones. The pedestrian crossing was simply too far away for me to be able to walk to so I had to take my usual gamble that traffic stops upon sight of an extremely small person very slowly limping across the road. I find smiling at drivers helps...alot. It doesn't however help the fact that the bastard kerb stones have been increased in height so much that I could neither get up nor down them without dislocating multiple joints....Clearly another reasonable adjustment. I grit my teeth and hope not to fall headfirst into the road. Happily the cars stop again...this time.

Despite confident instructions from the job broker that I am to go in via the main entrance I can see the three large stone steps up to the front door, and unlike him understand that steps are just a bit of an obstacle to anyone with mobility problems. That means I have to go around the side of the building to the 'disabled' entrance which of course is not a problem unless you have mobility problems, in which case any extra distance is like a marathon. It's worse when trying to walk on unstable joints over fucking cobblestones that cause pain to ricochet throughout my body, make it impossible to place even my small feet down safely or solidly and increase the risk of falling by about a gazillion. Yep, putting in new cobblestones was a wise move by the local council. I've heard it referred to as 'granny skittles' as every time you drive through this particular town you see another old person toppling over the posh new cobblestones.

Finally, wincing I get round to the 'disabled' entrance which of course is locked. There's an intercom which I push and have to wait several minutes for someone to answer. I'm waiting outside, on the pavement, cold and in more pain from the cobblestones, wobbling trying not to fall in the road, cross from the humiliation of having to ask permission to enter a building open to the public. As I wait there I realise I have hurt my shoulder joint from having to reach so far up to the intercom then gape in utter amazement as I work out that the intercom is sited so far up the wall it is impossible for any seated person to reach. People in wheelchairs as a rule are sitting down and this very intercom for their use is sited just below normal eye level. Clearly someone has previously complained as a token doorbell has been placed at sitting level. It seems like it was either too much effort or not thought of to move the intercom to an accessible position for the very people it's intended for.

Eventually, slowly a security guard creaks into view. I hope nothing bad ever happens in small town job centre as this security guard kindly though he turns out to be will not be capable of securing the staff from anything. He must be on new deal. It seems not only do I have to ask for permission from an intercom sited out of my reach, and impossible for a wheelchair user to use, I have to then wait to be let in to the building, there is no automatic unlock facility. The security guard asks if I have an appointment, then says he thought it would be with job broker as I start to follow him through to the room. He slows down as he sees I am unable to keep up with him, struggling to follow I joke at the implausibility of the situation, he replies sympathetically that he has complained, repeatedly but nothing is ever done and no-one listens.
Hello and welcome to all those coming to read here after via BOM article on job brokers. Here are links to some of the posts you may find of interest, hope they are helpful and enjoyable to you.

Part 1- The jobs fair

Part 2- Getting there

Part 3- The job broker

No special treatment- The practical response

I see your true colours


A question of chance


Missing out


Bendy Girl

Reposted from 12/04/08

Surprise, Surprise!

Maatwerk, one of the job brokers supposed to be 'helping' disabled people into work as part of James Purnell's Arbeit Macht Frei policy is being investigated by the police for fraud after a DWP inquiry.

No surprises here then.

The Jobbing Doctor and The All Work Test

An interesting and moving post from the Jobbing Doctor about the 'all work test' seen from a GP's perspective. Well worth a read as it is more evidence of how the system treats the truly vulnerable.

No special treatment - The Practical Response

Rather than answer comments individually, for the sake of ease (and my hands) I decided to put it in the form of follow up posts.

I'll start by saying I'm incredibly grateful for everything I receive. If ever I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself I only have to consider how phenomenally lucky I am to be living in a country that considers the financial and social protection of it's most vulnerable citizens to be a duty of the state.

I am ashamed to tell people I'm in receipt of state benefits though. It didn't used to be this way, but
the perception that those of us forced to rely upon such help are all lazy, scrounging scumbags has slowly but inexorably become near all pervasive.The main two political parties are almost falling over themselves in their eagerness to ensure the public know they are determined to deal with the problem of idle scroungers with nothing better to do than sit around and watch daytime tv, paid for by decent, honest, hard working tax payer's money. I started this blog largely to try and combat that myth.

Realistically, just like the vast majority of those receiving health related benefits, if I could go out to work I would, after all I didn't go to university to then decide that being on benefits would bring in a far better living than I could ever earn for myself.

So what does the welfare state give me, or you, should you end up in a similar situation? Trust me, I never thought I would.

I receive Income Support. Income Support, not Incapacity Benefit. Important as they are different benefits worth different sums of money and equally importantly different passported benefits. Different benefits, recorded in different ways with different numbers of people in receipt of them. All those people so resoundingly and publicly decried as workshy scroungers, look to Income Support rather than Incapacity Benefit. Why? Simple really. To receive Incapacity Benefit you have to either have been paying National Insurance contributions, or
be aged between 16 and 20 (or under 25 if you were in education or training at least three months immediately before turning 20). That's in addition to meeting the various incapacity thresholds themselves. Income Support however is paid to anyone who can't be available for full time work and who doesn't have enough money to live on, typically lone parents, those sick or disabled (who don't qualify for incapacity benefit or do and are lucky enough to be entitled to income support as a top up), students who are also lone parents or disabled, and those in caring roles. Unlike incapacity benefit, if your partner works on average more than 24 hours a week you won't be entitled to any income support.

In addition to the base rate for an adult over 25 which is approximately £59.15, I also receive various premiums because I am considered to be sick and severely disabled thus approximately doubling the basic rate.

I also receive Disability Living Allowance. High rate for mobility, middle rate for care. Disability Living Allowance (DLA) is tax free and non means tested. This is important because it can, perfectly legitimately be claimed by those meeting the criteria who are also working. Its also important because Incapacity Benefit is taxable and those in receipt of it are liable to pay their council tax, whereas Income Support is not taxed and those in receipt of it receive council tax benefit.

The higher rate of the mobility component can, if the recipient chooses, be used to lease (or hire purchase) a car by way of the Motability scheme. I have over the years realised that there is a widespread public misconception that disabled people receive a car from Motability and then the Mobility allowance in addition to that, perhaps to pay for petrol, taxis, or a powered wheelchair. This is not the case, there is one payment in the form of Mobility allowance which can, if the individual chooses be used to lease a car, or purchase a power chair via Motability. It is not enough money to do both. Many disabled people entirely reliant on benefits like myself opt not to use the Motability scheme. This is for various reasons, but speaking for myself I use the money from my mobility allowance to live on, and almost more importantly I am so frightened of the possibility of losing my Mobility allowance on review that I do not dare use the Motability scheme. If that were to happen, I would doubtless be reawarded High rate mobility upon appeal, but as is all too common, I might have to wait up to a year for that to happen, and I could not afford to do that either financially or practically.

High Rate Mobility Allowance means I am exempt from paying vehicle tax. If I used the Motability scheme this would be automatic, but as I don't I have to apply each year. To qualify for free car tax the car must only be used by or for the disabled person, so a married couple could not use one partner's road tax exemption if the other partner was not exempt and for example used the car to commute. In that example they would have to tax the car fully like anyone else.

I receive the Middle rate Care Component of DLA. It is this (or the high rate mobility component) which entitles me to the severe disability premium which is paid onto my income support. Are you all keeping up at the back? DLA is a completely different benefit to incapacity benefit, it is assessed in much greater detail and only awarded to those who meet very tight criteria. My GP was disgusted when he found out I had not been awarded the High rate Care Component. I wasn't surprised. It is worth approximately £20 more per week in DLA and adds another premium to the income support. In a decision typical of the DWP (sorry faceless) I was awarded Middle rate care for the needs they accepted I had during the daytime, but I did not get High rate care because they did not accept those same needs existed during the night. I wish!

David Freud may think it 'ludicrous' that checks are carried out by the individual's GP, but I rather suspect there are a great many GP's out there who would love to have that kind of ability to help their patients instead of being stuck impotently raging against the system, the only power they have to help being a few lines on a form, or perhaps a supporting letter.

In addition to Income Support and DLA I also receive both Housing Benefit and Council Tax Benefit.

Council Tax benefit first because its easier. In my case I receive the full benefit and so do not have to pay any council tax. This is because I am in receipt of Income Support. Were I to be in receipt of Incapacity Benefit like neighbour was, then I would only have part of my council tax paid and have to pay the rest myself. This was one of the reasons neighbour had to move away.

Housing Benefit. I live in privately rented accommodation. Social, or council housing is in crisis throughout the UK. It's simple, after the right to buy introduced by introduced by the Thatcher government people quite understandably took up that right so moving the vast majority of social housing into the private sector. There has never been adequate planning to ensure that the sold housing stock was replenished for the social housing sector so now we have a chronic and desperate shortage of suitable, affordable housing. Everyone in need goes into the same pile, so that nice little bungalow suggested by Vi (and many others in the real world) that the government could provide to help simply doesn't exist. I could, as was suggested by a social worker, move into sheltered housing, but I neither need nor want to live in sheltered accommodation, and certainly have never been able to see why at the age of 28 to be forced into such an environment was in any way in my interests. Even if the social worker did assure me she would do all she could to have the age restriction removed so I would potentially be able to apply to live with the over 65's. That social worker never did understand my lack of gratitude for her most generous offer.

Housing Benefit
is of course set at a level considered appropriate to the local area for an average single person, couple, family etc. As far as I have ever been able to work out this level bears no relationship to the true cost of renting, particularly as it factors social rents into its average, regardless of the availability of such properties. My housing benefit is currently paid at approximately £100 per month below the market rent for my home, which in my experience seems about average. I do live in a nice area, but the cost of rent has risen so sharply that I would seriously struggle to find anywhere at a similar cost. I could also perhaps live in a council high rise and hope the lift worked on a regular basis, or perhaps try to negotiate the nightmare of needing a ground floor property, but being under 65, or 55, not having children, having a pet etc. Having previously fought battles with social services and the local authority over care provision and housing I have long since realised that the only result to that is a steep decline in my physical health, and stress levels I am unable to cope with. It is simply easier and more practical to stay where I am.

There is much talk of replacing Housing Benefit with a Local Housing Allowance. This is currently being trialled in a sample of councils and from what I could find, this is an example of the amounts likely to be paid. LHA has been much hyped as a 'good thing' because those in receipt of it who are in cheaper accommodation are entitled to keep the difference without it affecting their other benefits, and those who 'want' more expensive accommodation will have to make up the difference themselves. On a quick calculation to work out the average 4 weekly allowance provided to those in need of a two room property (ie 2 bedrooms) in St Helens (picked randomly from those running the LHA pilot), the total comes to just over £336. A quick search shows an average 2 bed rental property in that area to be around the £395 mark. Never let it be said that I'm cynical, but it seems fairly apparent to me that LHA is just a way to keep paying housing benefits at well below the market rates for rental properties whilst not addressing the real problem of lack of social housing.

Winter Fuel Allowance. Hahahaha, sorry, I need to go away and laugh some more. Right. This is only paid to the over 60's, and by the look of the budget, despite campaigns from various charities there is no change there. In the budget WFA will rise to £250 for over 60's, £400 for the over 80's. Except. If you are in a couple and receive the much hyped Pension Credit you only receive one allowance between you. Ditto for income based jobseekers allowance.
As anyone in receipt of a state pension is eligible, I can only assume that in households where couples are not in receipt of pension credit because they have too high an income that both people receive a winter fuel allowance in what would be a prime example of the injustice and insanity of the benefits system.

As explained here, disabled people under 60 do not receive a winter fuel allowance because they already get disability benefits and premiums on their Income Support. Except if you happen to be on Incapacity Benefit you aren't eligible for those premiums anyway. Oh, and those benefits are worked out, literally to the penny on how much it (supposedly) costs to live, and the additional costs of disability. So that's Mobility Allowance ruled out because that is 'ring fenced' for transport, so long as you don't need to lease both a car and wheelchair. Things like food that doesn't have to be prepared (social services tend to advise a diet of ready meals), any small equipment that your local authority won't cover the cost of, care costs you may have to pay to the local authority or privately because the local authority are rationing care, and many more things I've not listed. That's before (or after) average monthly heating costs higher than a week's benefit for many people.

Hmm. Here comes my cynical side again, but means testing a winter fuel payment is seen as politically unacceptable. Means testing could perhaps provide for those currently said not to need such payments though.

That's the extent of the help provided (to me anyway) by the state. As I said at the start, I am extremely grateful for everything I receive, but, to quote many of my friends "we're not paying so much tax so you can be refused help".

Social Care. Most councils are now rationing this and three quarters only provide support to those whose needs are classed as 'critical' or substantial'. My needs are classed as 'moderate' therefore in my local authority I am no longer entitled to any support. Having said that some of the support is so appalling people are better off without. Cases like this one happen because of the way private companies are paid by social services departments. In the interests of fairness there are many, many superb carers out there who work difficult, demanding jobs for extremely low wages, kept on temporary contracts despite having worked for the same agency for many years. Its cheaper that way. This calculator is a quick way of assessing what help you might receive in certain situations, it's well worth looking at as you may be surprised (or not if you're a regular reader) just how severely disabled people have to be before they qualify for meagre amounts of help.

Equipment. I've previously addressed this in the form of wheelchair provision, but equipment for the home is assessed for and provided by social services Occupational Therapists (OT) rather than OT's employed by the NHS. My experiences are probably quite typical with social services OT's having told me they wouldn't provide a bath lift as I'm too disabled to use it. This is in case of a fall or injury using the equipment which might lead to the local authority being liable. Seemingly denying care and equipment leading to a fall or injury does not incur liability. I can't work out why.

What this does all illustrate quite clearly is just how complex and difficult to navigate the benefits system really is. This morning, whilst a BBC news presenter was interviewing a representative from one of the disability charities about the latest proposed changes to incapacity benefit I heard him describe some of the current tests as 'not much of a a test really, how hard can it be to walk a few hundred yards' Anyone who reads this blog will know that for many people with all manner of different conditions 'walking a few hundred yards' is as big a battle as running a full marathon, but it shows just how all pervasive this attitude of 'how hard can it be' has become.

If I could give just one piece of advice to those politicians who claim they are so determined to sort out the problems of the benefits system it would be this. Until such time you take advice from the true experts, those with a wide range of disabilities and health conditions living day to day within the benefits system, you will continue to fail. Spectacularly.

Budget

From April 2010, all long-term recipients of incapacity benefit will attend work capacity programmes

Really? I can't find any detail, but really? Not to worry, if it's anything like the existing New Deal farce I've blogged about previously this is no more than a money making scheme for, er, whoever wants to set up as a New Deal company. Now there's a thought. Anyone?

Taxpayers would help fund disabled workers' move to private sector

The government is to offer a £50m sweetener to persuade up to 2,200 disabled workers at 43 state-owned Remploy factories facing closure or merger to take new jobs with Asda, Tesco and other private companies.

I freely admit to not being able to add up once I've run out of fingers and toes, so maybe someone able to count past 20 will be able to help out, but even so this makes no sense to me.

That aside, as far as I can make out, Remploy, which has been assisting people with disabilities to work, primarily in their own factories for over 60 years (formed to provide work for those injured during the Second World War) is now being threatened with closure as it's factories are apparently making a loss. The chief executive of Remploy, Bob Warner claims


"The unions' interest is only in maintaining loss-making factories which cost the taxpayer millions of pounds each year. This would prevent us from helping thousands more disabled people into employment each year."

Of course the unions feel differently and

"keen to preserve manufacturing jobs for the disabled are furious about the offer being made to staff to leave."

So, what's the real issue here? Mr Warner spells it out,

"The key point about this is that the taxpayer will be subsidising the employee and not the employer for any difference in wages. Any subsidy from the taxpayer will be less than the average £20,000 a year paid for a disabled employee in a Remploy factory."

Er, quite. So, factories which apparently have potential profitable contracts are going to close, forcing all employees to to seek lower paid work elsewhere, meaning the balance will be made up by the tax payer. Apparently though this is just fine, wonderful even as the tax payer is paying the additional salary, pension etc to the employee and not employer.

I can't fathom how this is good for anyone. Not the tax payer, not the remploy employees, who are devastated at the loss of their jobs and for many their place of long term employment, and certainly not for British manufacturing, already hit hard in the current world economy. Now, perhaps I'm wrong, and just don't understand the economics of this. I shall ask the Devil if he might be so kind as to help me understand?

Despite being unable to count, I'm blessed with a healthy degree of cynicism, and can't help but feel all this is somehow connected to the the government's desperate drive for Welfare Reform, which as there has been such a stunning lack of understanding of the true barriers and problems faced by those with disabilities wanting to work is set to make an already difficult situation far worse. All that seems to have happened so far is existing jobs are under threat and vast amounts of money have been poured into the creation of job brokers, which as I've previously explained seem to do absolutely nothing other than create lots of jobs for er, those without disabilities.

(If you look at the links in the job broker post you'll see that every one takes you to a different job broker. All doing the same thing. Fuck all. )

Part 3 - The Jobs Broker

So after all that hassle, I finally get to the room to meet the jobs broker. I was bored, miserable and fed up when I went to the jobs fair, frankly all common side effects of being without a job, and even though it was a complete and utter waste of time (and bigger waste of money!) I still figured I had nothing to lose by going along to meet this guy.

The meeting had been arranged over the phone, and at the time I'd thought I was talking to the much older man I'd met at the jobs fair. So really I didn't think much of it when he was asking about places other than the job centre to meet in my local area and just said the job centre was fine for me. He mentioned a cafe several times which I thought a little strange but not dramatically so until I arrived at the meeting today and found it wasn't with the much older man I'd thought I was meeting but a guy around my kind of age. Odd, not massively so, just well, odd.

Some years back, before I was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos and when the doctors didn't know what was wrong with me so thought it just best to tell me I was lying/attention seeking/needed a psychologist (choose whichever label you like, they were interchangeable and I never even got to see a psychologist!) I signed up with a different job broker. There seem to be rather alot of job brokers. No actual jobs for people with disabilities, or anything tangible being done about that situation....just well, alot of job brokers. I signed up with this job broker after being told that it was only possible to receive help from a job broker if you signed up to them...and that it's only possible to receive help from one particular job broker at a time. Apparently they receive funding for each person they sign up. So I sign up expecting that I'll get help appropriate to a disabled graduate in my situation. What I didn't at any point expect was to be hassled constantly by said job brokers to attend completely inappropriate courses on CV writing skills, confidence boosting, how to job search etc. All well and good, but not appropriate for my needs. I certainly never expected the postman to bring me envelope after envelope containing photocopies of job adverts from the local papers. Job adverts with deadlines days prior to my seeing them...or they would have been had I been waiting for the job brokers to cut the adverts out of the papers, photocopy them and send them to me via snail mail instead of simply looking at them all first hand in the local press like I was doing. In the end I managed to find a job myself and the job brokers were able to put it down with their figures as I'd been signed up with them whilst looking for work....aren't you glad this is all funded by your taxes?

So fast forward through getting really ill without knowing why, losing job, being diagnosed with EDS and here I am, in the job centre wondering why on earth I'm speaking to another job broker. That feeling grew. He said he understood I was looking for a job working from home. I said that I had some fairly major concerns about whether I am physically capable of working yet, and particularly managing to maintain anything regularly, and of course the position that puts me in with regards to benefits and managing to earn enough to support myself. The job broker wanted to know 'what was wrong with me' and why that caused problems with work. He told me that he thought someone in his office had 'that thing you've got that I can't pronounce....that doesn't it make your organs in the wrong place' er, well no, and not having been to medical school I'm not even going to start guessing at what the thing that makes your organs in the wrong place might be! I tried to explain to him that EDS is a collagen disorder, causing frequent joint dislocations, meaning it's extremely painful and tiring, that it's difficult to do basic tasks and I never know from one day to the next what tricks my body will play on me, but I could tell from the way his eyes kept drifting to my breasts that I was on to a bit of a loser. I told him it was like the difference between a 'normal' body being held together with super glue and my EDS body being held together with a piece of gum someone has chewed then left in the sun to go runny...he said he though it was a good analogy then looked at my tits some more.

By this point I was really uncomfortable, in every way. I apologised and said I had to get up and move around. My hips and SI joint were screaming and I had no choice but to lean my upper body flat on to the table to lever myself up, probably giving him a view right down my top. To his credit the jobs broker managed to carry on talking as I wobbled next to the chair, my hip visibly flicking in and out of it's socket. He talked about life coaches, listing skills, transferable skills, lots of nice things, until I said that was all well and good but I was afraid it simply came back to the same few problems again. I live alone and so have to be able to earn enough to support myself whether that is topped up by the benefits system or not. To earn enough to support myself on a part time wage from home I would have to earn at a relatively high level and part time home based jobs are notoriously low paid. The answer to this apparently was to book in at the job centre and have a 'back to work' calculation done to see whether I'd be better off financially working or on benefits. I said that I'd done that for myself several times the answer to which was to tell me I couldn't have done that! Apart from the fact that actually it's not that difficult to do on a rough basis, there's a very handy website which helps you figure these things out and now the jobs broker knows about it too.

I tried to explain to him that I had other concerns to do with practical issues, like for example how would I manage things when I had a more substantial injury or was ill and not able to work for a period of weeks or even months with no-one else to support me financially or practically. The answer to that apparently was that now New Deal is set up so that if for health reasons you have to go back on to benefits it happens within a day, but every experience I've had of the benefits system tells me that might be a nice idea but is about as far from the reality as it'll get. Nor do I believe that a job broker would sort it all out. More to the point though I like so many people have a fluctuating condition that goes through periods when it's more stable than others and that this the very system supposedly set up to deal with such issues doesn't even know what they are to start thinking about them let alone try to understand them.

The jobs broker told me that since I get Incapacity Benefit I can do something called permitted work and keep up to £86 a week. I said I didn't get Incapacity Benefit apart from the National Insurance credit contribution part and got Income Support instead. He wanted to know why. I then had to explain to him that it was to do with my lack of diagnosis meaning I'd not gone on to benefits until after I was 25 and so not been protected by the young person's rule despite having been ill and unable to work for years before that so I don't have the national insurance contributions either to entitle me to Incapacity Benefit. He said that as I get Income Support I would only be able to keep the first £20 of anything I earn as long as I work for less than 16 hours a week, and after £20 money would start to be deducted from my benefits so he suggested that I try to work between four and eight hours a week in an office, just to see how I got on at first and only keep the first £20. He said he had to be completely honest and say that in his experience often even just a few hours like this triggered the removal of the care component of Disability Living Allowance. He seemed to have forgotten I'd said that for physical reasons I needed to either work completely or almost completely from home.

I didn't need any sort of 'better off' or 'back to work' calculation to know that this is a situation that can only make me worse off even before I look at the finances. These are the very people the government have set up to try and address the barriers facing disabled people entering the workplace and address the numbers in receipt of sickness or disability related benefits yet seemingly few or none of these people actually have disabilities or any real understanding of the vastly differing barriers faced by us. There are specific and valid reasons I would need to work part time and from home and I know full well that doing so would increase the physical pain I endure every day, increase the fatigue, and practically make my life more difficult without any support.....but still it's something I want to do and feel will be worth doing. Simply ignoring the barriers I face and reasons for those problems and suggesting I 'just' do a few hours a week is not an answer, nor is the knowledge that the one and only non means tested benefit intended to meet the additional costs caused by having a disability will in all likelihood be removed purely because managing to find paid or unpaid work gives faceless bureaucrats an excuse to claim the care needs I have must no longer exist.

I apologised to the guy and said I felt like I'd wasted his time. I simply couldn't be bothered trying to explain to this young man who'd fallen into this job after university, unable to find anything he actually wanted to do, that I wasn't being difficult or negative, but that these are all the barriers stopping me finding a way of working and ignoring them because you don't understand them or know how to deal with them won't make them disappear. Part of me felt impossibly frustrated and part even more resolved that this is something I will have to figure out for myself as the system makes it impossible.

As I left the room I was faced with several blank key coded doors. I couldn't remember the way the security guard had brought me through the building and there was no way I could see of contacting a staff member for help. No one was in sight, the main job centre being on a different floor and there was no where to sit and wait. I took the only decision I could which was to use the main entrance with stone steps down to the street. Fortunately only a few, but precarious to say the least whilst clinging on to the side of the building for support and hoping not to be surprised by any additional dislocations sending me sprawling head first. I made it back across the road the way I'd came and gratefully into the car.

As I drove away I saw a hedgehog crossing the road, all spines and bluster looking so very vulnerable against the metal of my car. I stopped and dithered about getting out to carry it safely across, childhood warnings of fleas and disease ringing in my ears so I continued on home only to be compelled to return later to check it was safe.

Part 2 - Getting There

Now, this was a meeting with a jobs broker in a job centre linked to New Deal for disabled people. You'd think it'd be in any easily accessible location, wouldn't you? Well, you might not consider it, but maybe if you did you'd hope as it's a government building, for an official government programme to try and get disabled people off benefits and into employment it would at the very least be easily accessible to said disabled people. Well, that'd just make life too easy really, and make far too much sense for anything involved in the public sector! Far better to make those scrounging cripples into public enemy no.1 and try to make everyone believe they and they alone are responsible for the mounting cost of the welfare state.

The Disability Discrimination Act 1995
was the first time disabled people were given legal rights in the areas of employment, education, buying or renting land or property and access to goods, facilities or services. 1995! And still not all of the Act has come into force. Part 3 of the Act requires;

service providers to make “reasonable adjustments” for disabled people. A service provider is required to take reasonable steps to:

  • change a practice, policy or procedure which makes it impossible or unreason-
    ably difficult for disabled people to make use of its services
  • provide an auxiliary aid or service if it would enable (or make it easier for) disabled people to make use of its services

In addition, where a physical feature makes it impossible or unreasonably difficult for disabled people to make use of services, a service provider has to take reasonable steps to:

  • remove the feature; or
  • alter it so that it no longer has that effect; or
  • provide a reasonable means of avoiding it
  • provide a reasonable alternative method of making the service available
In practice you tend to hear this referred to as 'making reasonable adjustments' which often is all that is needed. Sadly, all too often being reasonable is far from the reality.

So, I turn up for my appointment at the job centre to find firstly that I can't park. This for me is a fairly major and common problem. Like many people who struggle with their mobility my GP referred me to be assessed for an electric wheelchair. I need an electric wheelchair or suitable powered aid because my upper body is funnily enough attached to my lower body. Even more strangely that means both my upper and lower body have the same genetic disorder...whaddya know! It sort of makes sense really! What doesn't make any sense is to be refused a powered wheelchair on the grounds that 'they aren't provided for outdoor use unless you first use one solely indoors for a minimum of six months' eh what? This is to be the subject of a post in it's own right, but suffice to say that due to more NHS, Social Services, public sector, actually I don't know who quite is responsible for wheelchair services, stupidity I don't have a wheelchair because I'm not capable of self propelling and don't have someone to push me around. God that's one hell of a good way of cutting costs!

Back to the job centre...where thanks to our local council's dramatic refurbishment of town there are now only spaces for 3 cars outside job centre, and of course all are taken. I had to park in a side street, which in small town land was luckily close enough, but then had to figure out how to negotiate kerbs and modern cobblestones. The pedestrian crossing was simply too far away for me to be able to walk to so I had to take my usual gamble that traffic stops upon sight of an extremely small person very slowly limping across the road. I find smiling at drivers helps...alot. It doesn't however help the fact that the bastard kerb stones have been increased in height so much that I could neither get up nor down them without dislocating multiple joints....Clearly another reasonable adjustment. I grit my teeth and hope not to fall headfirst into the road. Happily the cars stop again...this time.

Despite confident instructions from the job broker that I am to go in via the main entrance I can see the three large stone steps up to the front door, and unlike him understand that steps are just a bit of an obstacle to anyone with mobility problems. That means I have to go around the side of the building to the 'disabled' entrance which of course is not a problem unless you have mobility problems, in which case any extra distance is like a marathon. It's worse when trying to walk on unstable joints over fucking cobblestones that cause pain to ricochet throughout my body, make it impossible to place even my small feet down safely or solidly and increase the risk of falling by about a gazillion. Yep, putting in new cobblestones was a wise move by the local council. I've heard it referred to as 'granny skittles' as every time you drive through this particular town you see another old person toppling over the posh new cobblestones.

Finally, wincing I get round to the 'disabled' entrance which of course is locked. There's an intercom which I push and have to wait several minutes for someone to answer. I'm waiting outside, on the pavement, cold and in more pain from the cobblestones, wobbling trying not to fall in the road, cross from the humiliation of having to ask permission to enter a building open to the public. As I wait there I realise I have hurt my shoulder joint from having to reach so far up to the intercom then gape in utter amazement as I work out that the intercom is sited so far up the wall it is impossible for any seated person to reach. People in wheelchairs as a rule are sitting down and this very intercom for their use is sited just below normal eye level. Clearly someone has previously complained as a token doorbell has been placed at sitting level. It seems like it was either too much effort or not thought of to move the intercom to an accessible position for the very people it's intended for.

Eventually, slowly a security guard creaks into view. I hope nothing bad ever happens in small town job centre as this security guard kindly though he turns out to be will not be capable of securing the staff from anything. He must be on new deal. It seems not only do I have to ask for permission from an intercom sited out of my reach, and impossible for a wheelchair user to use, I have to then wait to be let in to the building, there is no automatic unlock facility. The security guard asks if I have an appointment, then says he thought it would be with job broker as I start to follow him through to the room. He slows down as he sees I am unable to keep up with him, struggling to follow I joke at the implausibility of the situation, he replies sympathetically that he has complained, repeatedly but nothing is ever done and no-one listens.

Part 1 - The Jobs Fair

A couple of weeks ago I went to a jobs fair. I was extremely dubious as this was no ordinary jobs fair, no, this was a special jobs fair. To be very fair to them, it really was a very special jobs fair as for all the things that were there there wasn't a hint of a job in sight. Some bloke with huge muscles who in all seriousness informed me that as a massage therapist he was far more qualified than a physiotherapist as "physiotherapists only manipulate joints, massage therapy is much better cos it deals with muscles as well as joints." Right. Ok. Now, I may despise social workers as scum of the entire universe, be utterly terrified of doctors, and not much happier about nurses, but physiotherapists I've known a few of over the years and I've been pretty lucky with them. Never in all my time have I known a physiotherapist to say "oh no, we only manipulate joints, you'll have to visit a massage therapist if you want them to look at your muscles" Oh, and I did ask, managing to keep a fully straight face whether this massage therapist had been to university to become better qualified than the "only deals with joints" physiotherapist with a degree...unsurprisingly he hadn't...and unsurprisingly to anyone else I didn't feel it a good idea to put my extremely vulnerable joints and fragile soft tissue at the mercy of that kind of free massage. Clearly one for the increasingly Victor Meldrew like Doc Crippen. I was gutted though, as having nothing against massage therapists in general, especially not the muscle bound good looking kind it was most disappointing to hear this particular one claim to be better qualified than an entire profession, sigh.

So after I spoke to the better than a physiotherapist massage bloke, I briefly spoke to a very lovely girl who insisted that she could help me get funding to do any course I wanted to do. I had a few suspicions about this as well having previously looked at funding to retrain and always run up against the same problem that as I already have a degree I can't get funding to do another one, or any kind of appropriate course even though, y'know, funding an appropriate course would potentially mean not paying to keep me on benefits for the rest of my life, but still mustn't think that way, far too logical for the welfare state. So, I explained this to the very lovely girl who says to me that she works for this great company who spend all their time finding the funding for courses for people to get back into work. Not exactly true...turns out they can provide funding for some courses but overall they're yet another job broker.
So then I spoke to a fireman. And no, he wasn't there on a recruitment drive. He was there doing the whole fire safety road show thing they do these days, making sure people have up to date smoke alarms in their homes, and if not organising for them to be fitted free of charge along with a specialist fire safety check if needed. Quite where the energy saving lightbulbs they were giving away came into fire safety I'm just not sure, but then I don't really know how giving me a plastic bag full of lollipops, keyrings, massage vouchers, weird anti key fishing device and a load of useless leaflets that went straight into the recycling bin could possibly help me to get a job either. But then if anyone can come up with a credible answer as to why a massage therapist, fireman and some girl offering funding for courses should be called a jobs fair I might just start stripping....and with my levels of co-ordination and contortion that could be seriously dangerous.