After my embarrassment when the woman fitting the alarm found both a bong and bag of slutty underwear in my wardrobe I was taking no chances and so had already unplugged the alarm system before she arrived. Unstable joints be damned, no stranger was going rummaging round in my bedroom again.
I've never been happy about having the alarm box in my bedroom, and did say so when it was first fitted but as the phone line enters the house there they insisted. I can be a force to be reckoned with, but even I lost against two firemen and a woman from er, the alarm fitting place. Funnily enough the firemen knew exactly why I didn't want the box in my bedroom without my having to explain, whereas the lady from the alarm company needed more hints. I must have been having some sort of psychic experience as in the first weeks after its fitting, the alarm went off, literally only minutes after The Sexy Irishman left. Cue one disembodied voice shouting out "Ms Bendy Girl, Ms Bendy Girl, are you there, are you ok?" whilst I attempted to get up the stairs without dislocating anything major in enough time to prevent a call to a keyholder, or worse the paramedics. Thus cementing my paranoia that the cat would set the stupid thing off just to spite me for ignoring it mid shag and not only would I have to deal with the mortification of the disembodied voice, but that they might listen in first. Ugh.
That was of course some time ago, but the alarm people seem to have a very strange way of doing things, and so only managed to come out to move the box last week. They phoned a few times to try and arrange a time for someone to come out and move the damn box, after issuing dire warnings that I was not to attempt it myself, however this is the public sector, and intended for more vulnerable members of society so whenever they phoned it would be to tell me that someone was in the area and could they come round in 10 minutes. The suggestion that they might book a time in advance and so avoid the problem of my saying no every time, usually because I was still in my pj's, seemed to be quite alien to them.
Last week a time was agreed upon and the same lady appeared. Whilst kitty #2 whored herself all over the poor woman as she likes to do with anyone who enters the house, but especially those clutching official paperwork, alarm lady found the box I'd helpfully left on the table, asked where the socket was, and plugged it in. Of course just like that. In the way I was absolutely.totally.not.to.do.myself. Pressed the button to check it worked and asked me where my pendant was. I didn't like to tell her that I thought it might've fallen under the bed after I'd knocked it on the floor and kitty #2 had a mad pendant attacking frenzy with it. I've not seen it since certainly. So I smiled and said I was keeping it by my bed. Which of course I was until I dropped it.