Oh god, is it really only monday? Took stupid but fabulous shiny red shoes off and on and off and on all day.
Long, productive meeting with Neil O'brien from Policy Exchange think tank. Brief but busy meeting with Charlotte Leslie MP (Big Society Tsar)
Then fringe on workfare that wasn't actually called workfare but basically was workfare. Met man from Avanta. He was a wanker. That's my polite opinion btw. Was quite alot sore. Sat on floor of fringe, swigged quite alot of oramporh. Fringe went on, and on, and on. They talked agnostics, apples & subs. Apparently all welfare related. Not in an oramorph haze it wasn't!
Voldemort* turned up. He droned. Alot. Couldn't tell you what about. Told the Dark Lord that he should stop bullying disabled people, that the more they put sanctions in the less likely we are to engage and STOP BULLYING US. Droning non answer from Dark Lord but rest of panel seemed receptive. Then whilst still sat on the floor unable to get up Voldermort came over and PATTED ME!! And told me not to worry. I scowled but frankly its hard to look tough on the floor next to a bottle of oramorph when you're a bit crying. Lifted off floor by three people.
Followed to toilet by BBC Political Reporter. Arranged to meet him in 15 minutes.
nice** armed policeman. Offered him job as my carer. He declined on the basis he'd be better off on Job Seeker's Allowance. Asked nice armed policeman if I could please stroke his gun. He let me. I told him I'd long
thought a wheelchair riot would be fun. Policeman suggested riding on
back of scooter with gun to do battle chariot style. We like the armed
policeman who say police are on disabled people's side.
Conducted meeting with man from the Beeb slumped on floor in oramorph haze. Was much saying of 'oh bollocks does that make sense?' Tricky enough to explain entire welfare reform Act and impacts in 15 minutes to someone who knows nothing about it, trickier again when smashed on morphine. Must've done reasonable job as he did good report with great headline.
Had another meeting. Meeting held on the floor as getting off the floor not a viable option. Definitely not typical way of conducting meetings at Conservative conference.
Went to yet another meeting with charity peoples. Failed to go to disability employment fringe as too tired. Now back at hotel. Tired, sore, tired. And Patted!!!
** Ok, extremely good looking AND nice armed policeman