Conference Diary Day 4: Day 3 Conservative Party Conference #cpc12

10/13/2012 02:45:00 pm BenefitScroungingScum 6 Comments

Met with a man from Atos about PIP. When people organising express concerns you know we’re doomed. Doomed, doomity, doomed. Offered me job. Had to enquire as to potential budget in potential job for preventing me from potential letterbombs. Letterbomb prevention budget surprisingly available. Not sure whether to laugh or cry. They must be bloody desperate. Did I mention that we’re doomed? 

Got taxi to drop off luggage at friends. Lovely taxi driver gave theory on cuts to benefits for disableds; its all because the government want to give money to criminals in other countries to fight corrupt wars not wanted by British people. Taxi driver thought disableds shouldn’t be cut at all, but was rather keen on householders being able to attack burglars. Knew that was genius announcement when Osborne made it. Sod badgers and dribbly disableds, we can shoot burglars now. Fear taxi driver may have misunderstood that bit of announcement but we like him anyway. 

Went to secure zone to meet with guys from RNIB and LCD. Bumped into Brian May. He was there for the badgers. I explained badgers are significantly cuter than disableds and he said he’d sign Pat’s Petition. Had photo taken, despite poorly knee Brian knelt down and told me he would be delighted for me to pass on his support for disabled people fighting benefit cuts. Its disgraceful what’s being done to us. 

Photo shows Brian May kneeling next to Kaliya Franklin

Talked to man from Virgin, told him to keep trains but stay away from the NHS. He said it was surprising how many people had said exactly that to him this week. He told me about stroke treatment IT system they have in Lancashire. Had to concede that is actually very cool and said they’re allowed to do that, but stay out of service delivery. He asked why. I ‘splained us ill types tend to cost endless amounts of money, need stuff and not get better. He conceded that was probably bad for business. Told him fraud rate for disability living allowance is 0.5% but they’re scrapping it cos ‘we’re all scroungers’ He was horrified, said media responsible too for all the scrounging golf players. I think he still meant benefit fraudsters but could have been MP’s…

Talked to man from NUT about concerns over provision of SEN and removal of presumption to mainstream. He promised to raise issue in their fringe. Found RNIB eye pod via begging free stuff off exhibitors to take home for not so baby any more bendy niece. Got to RNIB to find IDS there, had photo taken. Asked him to make me next Minister for Disabled People. He said he thought Esther might mind, I said I could wait a year for the peerage then be Minister. He said he’d see what he could do. 

Photo shows IDS kneeling down next to Kaliya Franklin in front of RNIB's eye pod stall

Minesweeped around stalls begging more free stuff. Niece will be delighted. Suspect her teeth will not be. Spoke to Conservative Friends of Azherbijan. Man at pains to stress they provide support for most severely disableds in their country and won’t be cutting it like this country, because they are not *that* kind of Conservatives. Attempted invite self to Azherbijan to see what its like for their disableds.

Went for lunch with charity people, saw Jeremy Hunt on the way. Went back to plead case for disableds and explain impact upon NHS and Social Care when benefits cut. He said that wasn’t his understanding of how the reforms worked. I said that was cos only disableds actually understand this interaction stuff, no-one did a cumulative impact assessment and they all ignore us. He gave me a card to contact him and said he’d look into it. He’s quite sexy up close. Please don’t hate me. I hate myself already. But he is quite sexy though.

Saw Andrew Lansley on way out. Refrained from spitting on him. Police very friendly and supportive but suspect they would still arrest me for that. Went out for cigarette. Fellow smoker had badge on saying ‘West Midlands Police’ so congratulated him for excellent anti cuts billboard. He said it was nothing to do with him. Thanked him and explained all police had been amazing. He said that was nice to hear but he wasn’t actually from West Midlands Police. Showed me his top level security badge that said West Mids Police because he was actually chairman of the Tory Party conference. Oops. 

Decided in for a penny in for a pound and said was at conference to lobby on behalf of sick/disableds about being hardest hit by cuts. Said we’d believed Cameron, that we trusted he understood disability and he broke our trust and let us down. We’re being more brutally targeted than anyone. May have cried a bit. Nice, smoking, not the Chief of West Mids Police but a Tory chief, took my card and said he’d be raising the issue and asking questions. 

Left secure zone helped by nice G4S guard for third day running. Commented that they were taking our benefits but couldn’t even make sure we could get out of their conference independently. Saw more of the helpful policemen. Related congratulating man who was Tory chief on the Anti Dave Anti Police cuts story. Police very amused and happy to hear. 

Got cab back. More helpful supporting disableds comments from second cabbie. Took oramorph. Took more oramorph. See much oramorph in immediate future. Got to go back again tomorrow. It’s only bloody Tuesday


misspiggy said...

Best conference diaries ever, thank you! Nice strategic use of smoking too.

Findlow said...

The Work Programme gravy-train....

"A senior civil servant who was in charge of the government's welfare-to-work schemes has resigned - to join one of the companies he was overseeing.

Alan Cave was a director at the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP), overseeing the Work Programme.

He is quitting to join Serco, the main contractors on the Work Programme in Yorkshire and the West Midlands."

hossylass said...

I had a lecturer from Azerbijan - one of the nicest people I have ever met.

Hurrah for Azerbijan, thats what I say :-D

Vicki said...

Hurrah for the Azeri people. Their government is one of the most corrupt on earth and another neo-Stalinist dynasty.

Another EDSer said...

Ugh, how ever did you manage to not be rude to IDS? I really don't think I could meet him without mentioning some of the lies he has told about the disabled and chronically ill and the welfare reform bill.

Vicki said...

Easy ways to keep yourself from being rude to IDS

1) Think about Chris Grayling. This will divert the watercourse of your wrath.

2) Remember that IDS might forgive you, as a good Catholic should - thereby adding to his self-righteousness and your blood pressure problem.

3) Look up the word "futility" in your nearest online dictionary.

4) Picture him telling his dinner guests all about you, whilst some chuckle and a few grimace having had all their prejudices about welfare recipients confirmed.