I lay in bed last night feeling quite sorry for myself, in fact, sorry enough for a tear to slide down my cheek. But then, as tends to happen when tears arrive, my nose started to block up and I realised I was far too sorry for myself to deal with that. So that was the end of that. I decided I'd better be cheerful instead and look on the bright side of life.
I have a BendyBus! What's not to like? Well...BendyBus has returned from the garage where it had been for almost a week...and broke down more times than I could count on the way home. I'm not sure if the garage were too busy to look at it properly or whether they just didn't know what's ailing BendyBus but they liberally applied WD40 and didn't charge me anything. Which was very nice of them as they did drive me home and the robbing bastards company contracted to provide NHS wheelchair services wanted a £40 call out fee for private work. On top of service charge, any parts oh and some labour too. Which they didn't provide an actual price for. Which also reminds me they still haven't come back to fix my NHS wheelchair. Private companies doing NHS work with taxpayers money. Aren't we all glad they do such a reliable job already they won't need to clean up their acts to bid for more of that lovely taxpayer money coming their way? I'd stamp my foot if I hadn't already learnt my lesson about that leading directly to dislocations. It's a definite flaw in the system that politicians don't receive similar direct consequences to force them to learn from their mistakes, and just think how much more entertaining
PMQ's would be!
Garages and mobility companies be damned, I know what's wrong with the BendyBus. It was very obvious when I thought about it sensibly. BendyBus requires constant charging, energy, warmth and attention. It looks pretty, uncannily like a fully functioning mobility scooter that has nothing wrong with it. BendyBus tries it's absolute best to do as it's told...only to immediately run out of power any time it's asked to do something hard...like, say, moving. Then it collapses in a big bendy heap on the pavement wailing "you can't make me". It's even in the name. That's right, the BendyBus must have
Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. There is no other possible cause. Batteries, chargers and loose connections be damned.
Only I could end up with a mobility scooter with EDS; it's not like you can go to the shops and try to buy a scooter with it, they hide amongst all the fully functioning scooters, looking all shiny to convince the world their excellent health is the very reason to take them home. Then as soon as you're out the door it's collapse on the pavement in a big heap time. This is taking the bendy seeker gene to a whole new level.
What with the BendyBus, the bendy seeker gene and the rest of my latest internet purchases it's probably for the best that I can't get out much at the moment. I appear to have taken inebriated online shopping to a whole new level. After the purchase of 6 bottles of mineral water heavier than myself caused by stoned reading of post apocalyptic swine flu literature I had thought I couldn't sink any lower* but this time I've outdone myself. I've bought a
Onesie online. So now it's official. The BendyBus really is bendy and I am absolutely, definitely NEVER getting laid again.
*In case anyone's interested they were very cheap and ConventGirl is still drinking the last of them as I had to give them to someone who could move the bottles out of my kitchen.
LavNav is a wonderful example of universal design. Perhaps initially aimed at a post 11pm, somewhat inebriated, home from the pub crowd it looks and acts cool whilst also providing a valuable service to those in need of accessible products.
LavNav is designed to avoid those middle of the night, bleary eyed, mostly male, miss the toilets moments. It acts as a nightlight, directing the light into the toilet bowl so the toiletee can see well enough to aim correctly without the harsh glare and unwelcome wake up factor which comes with turning on the main bathroom light. The light is red if the seat is up and green if it’s been left down indicating it’s safe to sit there without falling into or off the loo! The different colours and directed light would also make LavNav a fun way to teach toilet training skills.
LavNav incorporates clever motion detectors which have been extremely effective so far. As someone too petite to set off the motion detectors commonly used for automatic doors I was a tad concerned about the potential for being rejected by my own night light. However, the motion detectors in LavNav have been extremely effective so far, probably because a deliberately wide range of motion has been used to make this product suitable for every sized night time toilet tripper. I feel all included, which is nice, and it’s nice to let you know that the motion detectors can be activated by small and big kids alike.
LavNav requires two AA batteries. It has a sticky pad on the back so that it can be affixed to the underside of the toilet lid. It has to be placed quite precisely or the red and green warning system won’t work, the position has to enable the lifted up seat to obstruct the sensor so it knows what colour it should shine. That makes it a little tricky to fit if you have any issues with manual dexterity but it’s so quick and easy it shouldn’t be hard to find someone willing to help you out with the fitting. The sticky pad caused me a few nervous moments about leaving the toilet lid down, especially as I like to balance my laptop on the closed toilet seat so I can watch movies in the bath. I’m not sure Health and Safety would approve but I could do with some of the sticky pad stuff to put on the soles of my feet to keep my upright and anchored to the floor, it’s that good!
I already had a nightlight, one of those feebly glowing orange plugins which just wasn’t powerful enough to reach from the hallway to illuminate the toilet safely. LavNav has an impressive glow, without being harsh on the eyes it provides enough light to let you stumble safely to and from the loo, although it can’t protect you from a natural ability to stumble excessively, whatever the cause of that stumbling may be!
LavNav is available from a range of retailers, starting from approximately £12 making it an affordable, practical and fun nightlight.
As bogoff's go, Chester Station's isn't too bad. It's a good size, with more than enough room to manoeuvre a wheelchair alongside the loo. It was clean, apart from the loo paper sheets dropped on top of the sanpro waste disposal , and it didn't smell. There is a full-length mirror and there was plenty of contrast for people with visual problems - a good number of navy-blue grab rails stood out well from the white walls and turquoise door and flooring.
But oh dear, points must be deducted. There was no coat hook, which I always find a major annoyance. Ordinary public loos have hooks but the people that design bogoffs seem to think us crips don't wear coats, or carry handbags. And there was no privacy curtain. I don't think I have ever yet used a disabled toilet that has one, yet they are a very cheap and effective way to spare someone's blushes if the door needs to be opened in an emergency. Chester station's bogoff had one small advantage here in that the disabled toilet is inside the main door for all the public toilets and tucked into a corner, so should help need to be summoned you wouldn't be completely exposed to the gaze of passers by.
Talking of help and emergencies, I noticed immediately that the alarm cord was hanging well over a meter above floor level. Worse, it was wedged behind the loo roll dispenser. Tugging at it carefully failed to dislodge it and I was wary of tugging too hard in case I triggered it. It was impossible to tell if it was just too short or if the cleaners had knotted up the length and wedged it up out of the way of the floor polisher. Either way, I was worried about collapsing on the floor as I would not have been able to signal for assistance.
I was incensed enough that I complained immediately at the customer service desk, explaining that the cord was illegally short and anyone in trouble wouldn't be able to get help. To his credit, the man I spoke to promised to investiage immediately and sort it out. I hope he did.
6.5/10. It would have been 9.5 if the alarm cord had been properly positioned.
Thanks Louise!
