Manic Mondays

9/15/2008 04:50:00 pm BenefitScroungingScum 10 Comments

I had a hospital appointment today. With a rheumatologist. A proper doctor this time, how exciting! Rheumatology is as overwhelmed with patients as it is underfunded, so to try and address this problem the trust in my area are employing locum consultants.

Of course it was eventful. I can't open my front door without ensuing chaos and today was no exception. I actually found the hospital without getting lost, quite an achievement as my sense of direction is so bad I don't even know which way I have to turn out of my road to get to the shops. Despite the easy journey I couldn't find a parking space at the (community) hospital, set up to serve mainly elderly and vulnerable people by people with no understanding that most have terrible mobility problems. Fortunately with a bit of flirting the car park attendant allowed me to park my car outside the building I needed and kept an eye on it for me, though it was still a struggle to make the distance to clinic.

I saw a very sweet old man who had I not known better I would have thought pre dated the NHS altogether. No, not in the waiting room, he was the consultant. I'm used to the look of bewildered horror I get when I see a new doctor these days, and it always goes one of two ways. Either they are so freaked out by it all they try to pretend I don't exist and make out I'm telling a pack of lies in the hope they'll be able to bluff their way through the consultation or they remain bewildered and freaked out but do their best to help. Fortunately today's doctor fell into the latter category and was really very sweet. I'm not quite sure why he kept winking at me though. Perhaps he was as keen on the pink tights as the workmen who all stood in a row and stared at me when I gimped past them. Yep. It's got to be the tights.

After some stripping, various exclamations of dismay at my joints, a few dislocations and much wobbling not helped by the nurse who kept making me laugh, I was sent off to have x-rays of my hips, SI joint, and spine. It should have been very straightforward but the computer system was hideously complicated and outdated, which in combination with my sweet old man consultant caused many problems. 10 minutes and 1 medical student, 2 nurses and myself having made (helpful of course) suggestions the x-rays were booked.

After the obligatory questions from the clinic nurse about how on earth do I remain so cheerful

I stupidly insisted on walking to x-ray
as I could see the building about 20 meters away and only discovered when it was too late that I had to go so far around to avoid the building works that I nearly didn't make it at all. I took the lazywise option of a wheelchair back to clinic after I'd had my x-rays as the consultant wanted to review them there and then.

When I arrived back at clinic there was much bitching from the other patients. All of whom were elderly and more mobile than I. I apologised and said it was my fault the doctor was running late but they were having none of it and carried on moaning. I hope they weren't rude when they got into their appointments!

Then it was time for my favourite medical explanation ever. It goes something like this....well, it all looks normal. Except it doesn't look normal at all. I just don't know why. Oh, and you've definitely got some sort of congenital abnormality there, but I've never seen anything quite like it before. I never keep a straight face through that speech! Happily my hips/SI/spine aren't showing much degenerative change yet, though even I could tell the x-rays just looked a bit, well weird. There's no other way to describe it really. The concern is that with the amount of stress I put on my hips by 'walking' on them as they dislocate in and out that eventually they may just fracture.

I was booked in for my DEXA scan and invited back in four months time, whilst the consultant quizzed me about what I did to keep my brain active and then about the world of blogging. Bless.

The very nice nurse wheeled me out to my car. At which point my proprioceptive genius kicked into action and I scraped it along the wall I'd parked next to.

Then I finished off my chaotic day by coming home to wait for the nice man to arrive to fix my shower. I sat on the loo eating my soup while he begged me to just give him a snog at least. Which is far more innocent than I've made it sound. Apart from the begging to be snogged thing. That I'll leave up to your imaginations.

And if today's doctor should manage to find this blog, which given his technological skills I somehow doubt...thank you. You were kind, considerate and wanted to help. I appreciate it and hope the other patients didn't give you too hard a time.


Dave said...

Put your feet up Bendy you deserve it!

Dark Side said...

Why can't people understand it's not about age it's about disability, all those moaners would not have been happy if the consultant had rushed their examinations.

Two fingers to em all.....feet now you and rest...xx

Anonymous said...

You, young lady, are a saucepot.

alhi said...

My rheumatologist is like that: he will spend the amount of time necessary to treat each patient rather than have you in and out just because he is allotted ten minutes with you. Prior to my hip replacement a number of joints were swelling and he injected them then and there during his lunch hour (not helped by the fact that I proceeded to more or less pass out when the knee was being aspirated and injected and so had to come back 2 days later for the injection into the wrist!).

Anonymous said...

Well-said! Bendy

Easy knowing you're an EDS'er by the appreciation you show when your condition is properly acknowledged at a medical appointment - with/without those pink tights!

"I've never seen anything quite like it before"

Those words sound all too familiar to me. Most 'normal' people spend their lives longing to be a little bit different to everyone else whereas EDS'ers spend their time wishing they could simply be the same!

Silverback said...

First time visitor, BG as I found your comment on gemmaks blog.

You have a wonderful blog here and I'm slowly catching up with older posts. I'm hooked.

Kayell Arts said...

I'm so glad you had a good dr!!! My appt did not go so well. He told me to "get more exercise and sunshine" for my "fibromyalgia and arthritis." Um, what? Did you read my chart? Jerkface dr. Time to find someone new to treat me. I feel like I'm all alone in this mess with trying to find help. No one seems to want to try.

Unknown said...

Hi, new to your blog. I haven't heard of this condition before; clearly few have; but - well - always good to be educated!

I like your writing style, I'm sure I'll be commenting again.

Trixie said...

I just wanna know... what were you doing sitting on the loo eating soup?

Joanna Cake said...

Wot she said! Most unhygenic... :)