Turbulent Tuesdays

9/24/2008 06:52:00 pm BenefitScroungingScum 8 Comments

Life is a bit hectic at the moment, and yesterday was no exception. Freak clinic day. I can't believe it's been a year! Actually, it hasn't, I went to freak clinic six months ago but I don't think I blogged about it.

Freak clinic went well. Dr FC said how pleased he was with my mobility and commented on how much physio I must have been doing to have gained this kind of control. Especially as he feels (as do I) that it is highly unlikely I'll ever be able to keep my hips from dislocating with each step. It works a bit like a sublux or partial dislocation as I weight bear, in that my femur returns to the socket on it's own, but is a more full dislocation in the distance the femur pulls out of the socket each step. With the strange sensations I've been experiencing recently along with some increase in palpitations Dr FC wants me to have a 24hr ECG, but said he thinks I am right in my theory that the sensations are caused by spinal instability and the palpitations etc I'm experiencing are because the heart is a muscle and affected by the defect in my collagen in the same way my other muscles are.

Dr FC also wanted to run some blood tests. There is a very good reason that the medical profession don't like the government plans for things like polyclinics, and yesterday's appointment was a perfect example of why continuity of care is so important in medicine, and in ways that politicians just don't seem able to understand. I first met Dr FC when I was newly diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Since then he has been able to get an overview of my changing condition, been able to build a picture of how much my body shape has altered, the symptoms which accompany it, and because he knows me, he also knows I can and do dislocate my thyroid gland regularly. That's the kind of insight it's impossible to get when you only meet a patient once, and the kind which gives doctors the ability to judge when further tests are or are not needed. It's what will be completely destroyed if polyclinics are pushed for, and ultimately I believe will only cost more taxpayers money as patients will return for multiple visits with different 'health care professionals' whilst they try to get to the bottom of a clinical picture of which no-one is able to take overall charge.

I went to get blood drawn after my appointment. Now, every woman likes to be given compliments. It's like, in our genes or something. Next to the 'light blue touch paper and stand well back' strand of DNA I should think. There's a time and a place though. So to the phlebotomist who told me he'd never forget a face like mine, then looked directly at my breasts, laughed and said he'd never forget parts which looked like that either I'd like to say whilst it's lovely to be appreciated, I'd prefer you didn't do so whilst your colleague is sticking a needle into my arm. Thanks all the same.

Once I was home the BYM (long overdue for a name change so from this point on known as Roland) popped round for a cuppa. He was in a car accident a few days ago where someone skipped a red light and smashed into the side of him. He's very lucky as the car is a write off, and he went to A&E on a spinal board, but fortunately is just very stiff and sore now with nothing broken. As he left, Jenn turned up and we sat and chatted for a couple of hours.

By the time Jenn had gone and I'd managed to get nothing,a few things
nothing done it was dinner time and although I had enough spoons to eat, I didn't have enough to sort anything out for myself. So, Fruitrock and I went to a local pub which does buy one get one free meals. Pretty much a heart attack on a plate, but still, cheap and put in front of you. I think we managed to clear the area around us with our discussions about whether it would be better to become a dominatrix or sell used underwear online to make money. Our conclusion so far is that the used panties idea, whilst a good one is flawed by the actually having to wear them part. Don't you just love the recession?

We then returned to mine to ask google whether women really poo themselves in childbirth, discuss my teenaged theory that having sex was no different from using a tampon and the 'slug' Fruitrock found on her leg and showed her mother in utter horror. During that conversation the knowledge that there was no slug seemed to distress Fruitrock greatly. Her slug theory being way better than my tampon sex one....vaginal mucus anyone?!


Anonymous said...
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Trixie said...

Eeewww, lucky you didn't have the 'slug' convo at the pub, then you may have had the other eaters gagging on their food!

Anonymous said...

mmm linkovitch's comment does have merit lol.. Oh and so far on my toilet quest I have managed to find only 2 public toilets that are any good. I told my friend what I was looking for in a public loo. so now you have two Tasmanian women checking out loos and marking them on a Bendy scale... cheers kim..

Anonymous said...

some years back, a friend of mine and myself used to rate the pub toilets,
well they have come on a lot in recent years, but the mens toilets were always a pit. Running cold tap and a towel on a rail on the back of the door. errrh. think of all that bacteria.
And yes woman do poo in child birth, i have seen some logs come out, first hand. lol, but its nothing compared to the joy of your child.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Trixie: I know!! Gross isn't it, but one of those nights where you just end up talking about the most disgusting things!
We did a great job of scaring the couple next to us with our other plans though ;)

Kim: Now that is just my first step on the road of global toilet domination. Ahem More seriously, I love the fact that in different places in the world ppl are checking out loo's, next step good disabled loos!

OpenFlaps: You should blog men's toilets in much the same way I do disabled loo's. There are some very famous men's toilets in Liverpool at a pub called the philharmonic. There even used to be a sign warning men that women would be in there!

Fire Byrd said...

I was going to comment on the post above but checked this one out and now I'm squirming with mucus slugs.... UGH! Great conversations like that, are so entertaining, at least to the people having them.
My niece and I had one at lunch time at a nice restuarant about thrush... well it entertained us!

I've emailed you and I know you don't read them often!

Joanna Cake said...

Mucus slugs... LMAO. Real slugs leave that cold slimy feeling on your skin for hours afterwards, even when you try to scrub it off. I suspect the mucus variety are much warmer ;P