Breaking Bad

5/10/2010 08:15:00 pm BenefitScroungingScum 7 Comments

I'm having one of those days. Well, one of those weeks is probably more like it, but I don't want to consider how far this current path of destruction goes back. So, day...week, whatever. Everything I touch breaks, falls over or stops working so I'm happy to call it quits on the time factor in case I break that too. Even BendyCat is affected, I've just managed to elbow her in the head trying to put my jumper on.

I've actually been good and remained on my arse for most of today. I have an appointment at the bendy clinic  in Leeds with Professor Bird on Thursday and I'm starting to panic about being able to get there. GangstaGuy is away that day and Roland on nights. Pretty much everyone else is either in work, education or not well enough themselves. I'd ask my pot dealer but I have this old fashioned notion that people should be sober when they drive a motor vehicle. Usually I drive myself but my joints seem set on a path of separation and are stubbornly refusing any form of couples therapy. 

Friday night was supposed to be a night of passion. It involved screaming but that was pretty much it as far as passion went. I think I dislocated my knee, probably the femur part rather than patella part but beyond something going 'pop' I couldn't say. Things go pop all day and all night so I try not to pay too much attention. Whatever the source of popping not long after I was howling. Now, those who know me know my usual reaction to a dislocation is to scream something along the lines of 'fucking fuck fuck' then go back to whatever it was I was doing. It is absolutely not typical for the screaming to continue along the path to sobbing. I'm not big on crying. It always gives me a headache. Besides, swearing is good for pain. Science says so

GangstaGuy was a bit distressed. He tried to hide it but I could tell by his frequent, hopeful suggestions we go to hospital. The pain was so bad I did consider that option myself but decided I'd rather be in pain on a comfortable couch with supplies of tea, chocolate and weed than in pain in an uncomfortable tea, chocolate and weed free hospital. After all, what was the hospital going to do that I couldn't myself? Prod it a bit, hum and haw, maybe throw in an x-ray for good measure then suggest some form of support, anti inflammatories, crutches and a rapid referral to orthopaedics. It's the knee of the hip which got so put out when I misjudged a step back in March. How can it be that long ago? What happened to April? 

So that was Friday night. I 'broke' my knee. 

On Saturday morning I broke GangstaGuy's sink. Cracked clean through. Fortunately not with my head as I have not recovered from having to explain to a bemused A&E doctor how I managed to crack the back of my head on the underside of a sink many years ago. This sink break was caused by my 'oh so careful' balancing of a candle holder. The 'oh so careful' bendy version is never quite the same as anyone else's 'oh so careful' so now GangstaGuy needs a new sink. I was mortified. Breaking other people's possessions is far less acceptable than breaking my own, though they all end in the same place-people who aren't me fixing them. 


alhi said...

OMG: that does not look good. Is it any better? I hope you get to Leeds on Thursday safely: I'd take you myself if I could but alas office hours:(

Ellie said...

That sounds like a hideous week - I hope that was not last week and not just all today (Monday). I'd offer you a lift but I am stuck in Liverpool. I'd be curious to see the infamous professor bird :o)

OUCH! @ your knee. Nathan had a similar suggestion - why don't we call the nurses hotline, what about an un-urgent ambulance, etc etc. I think he was bothered by the crying too. But there is nothing they can do that I can't, so I stayed home.

Ugh, I can sympathise, hate those kind of weeks (months). I have an appointment with to see someone in London next week - it will take me about 2 hours to get there, in a car, a train and a cab (considered the tube then ruled it out as soon as I started sweating).

When you feel so ill you just wish the doctor could come to you.

Hope the knee feels better soon...

Achelois said...

You have stolen my skin that is what happens to mine when sticky stuff is put on it. To alleviate it somewhat put under some of the sticky stuff other stuff I can't remember the name of. My brain cell is gone.

Dare I say do that injury prevention thingy - think out your movement before you make it!

Empathy, sympathy. All the athy's really.

I sweated like mad last night because spouse was asleep and I couldn't take my jumper off to put on pj's.. stinky me woke in bad mood frankly EDS sucks big time.

Good luck at forthcoming appointment.

steph said...

Oh, Bendy

I feel your pain.

How I wish I could help you out with a lift to Leeds :-(

Would be it possible to change the appointment to another day when GangstaGuy is about?

Eclipse said...

could you try a carpool website and see if anyone is going to leeds when you need?