Sunday, March 30, 2008

Every day is like...

It was a good job I thought to ask for the location of Chuck's nursing home. Yesterday, driving back from the local supermarket I spotted Chuck. Out on his own and about to wander onto a main road.

Ziggy and I had gone to get food supplies planning to eat and watch bad movies. When we saw Chuck I stopped and Ziggy got out of the car to see if he could help but Chuck just wanted to go to the police station again. Once I got out of the car and said hello he was quite happy to come with us though he was less keen once he found out we were taking him back to the home.

The nursing home is just a few roads away from where I live so once there we took Chuck inside and as promised stayed to have a cup of tea with him. It's obviously a decent, well run home with friendly staff who know all the residents by name. That doesn't matter to Chuck who just wants to go home. He just can't quite remember where that is.

After the Chuck detour we reverted to the eat so much you can't move plan. Now I'm just waiting for the final run down of the weekend's activities but so far:

Red pulled. He's a registrar which is what she wanted, I'm not sure if his specialty makes him more or less attractive to her. He seems keen though and they're off out tonight
Ziggy, having spent most of saturday trying to work out how to go to a party without his girlfriend finally bowed to the pressure and took her with him. Which is how Ziggy's best friend Pete the vet got set up with Ziggy's girlfriend's best friend. Neither of them have been seen since.
The BYM is, shockingly still with his girlfriend. Shockingly as all they do is row. Keeps the rest of us amused and with gossip though.
Even Toes has a new girlfriend. He told me Fruitrock has been making threats to kill her though. Probably not wise as this girl's father is a government minister in her home country. Again, keeps the rest of us amused and in gossip.

That's small towns for you though, full of random people and wonderful for it.

As for me, well I'm no fan of politicians but I never thought I'd have to add 'wrecking my love life' to my list of reasons for hating them.


Casdok said...

Great to hear Chucks home is well run.
Random people seem to be keeping you on your toes!!

BenefitScroungingScum said...

Casdok: Indeed, and I didn't even need to leave the house to find all that lot out! x

Marla said...

How does Chuck keep leaving and no one stops him? Seems scary. I hope he does not get hurt one of these days!

You are very kind but soon you should charge the care facility for returning Chuck almost daily.;)

steph said...

Bless your little cotton socks again, BG

Both of my parents are in care and suffering from severe memory loss so my experiences may be of help to you (and others) in understanding what's going on for Chuck.

My mother was miserable for her first 1-2 years in nursing home and constantly fought to go home. Had she not been physically disabled, she would have been a problem like Chuck. Ironically, it was her move to the properly staffed dementia unit that gave her the reassurance she needed and she's barely mentioned home since.

My father is physically very fit and mobile for an 88 year old and because of this, he wears an electronic tag around his wrist so that the nursing home can trace his movements. In contrast to my mother, he settled into the n/h very easily but as he's no short term memory left, there's always the worry that he will decide to make his own way home. He often phones to tell me he doesn't know where he is or how he's going to get home. I have to get him to describe his surroundings to reassure myself he's safe and is actually in the nursing home. Every night, he goes to the nurses station to ask them if he can have a bed for the night as he can't even remember where his room is :-(

I hate to think what it must feel like to end your days in a 'fog' like this, not knowing where you are or what happens next. I do know it's not a happy place to be and causes the sufferer great anxiety. Sorry if this sounds very depressing but it's reality.

I feel for Chuck. Well done for coming to his rescue, again!

And I hope your 'man' returns from duty soon!

Vi said...

Sounds a bit like my village! Just read the last post on Chuck. I think you'll be seeing more of him now you know him!

Jim said...

Well done again BG. I'm with Marla though, in that I'm surprised after his last 'escape' he was able to do so again.

I'm jealous you know so many interesting people!

BenefitScroungingScum said...

Marla: The owner of the nursing home Chuck is in explained to me that they are not allowed to stop people leaving if they wish to. I'm not sure how they could with someone like Chuck though short of physically or chemically restraining him which would be cruel and immoral.
TBH though I'm not sure how they could stop him escaping as he's physically fit and well and capable of getting out in just a few seconds.

Steph: TY for that, I'm so sorry you and your parents are in that situation. I think we need to talk about such things far more openly than we currently do in society, that will be the only way things start to change.
On the man front, soon hopefully! Keep your fingers crossed for me, BG x

Vi: I thought of you whilst all this was going on! Like you say, I expect to find Chuck again now.

Jim: See my reply to Marla and Steph's comment for an explanation of why he's able to carry on his 'career' in escapology.
As for my knowledge of such interesting people, that's just the start of it, aren't small towns the best!?!

Semaj Mahgih said...

What a cast of characters.

LceeL said...

I just read the 'Chuck' post and now this one. Well done, you. So very well done. i don't know if the Goddess loves you any better for it, but I do.

having my cake said...

I believe that the homes dont like it to seem as if a person is being 'restrained'. There are certain chairs that can be used where the front legs are propped up slightly higher than the back ones so that it makes it much harder for the occupant to get out. The trouble is that with dementia comes determination and a physical strength that seems incongruous in such frail creatures. It's so hard to find the correct line between the patient's safety and their civil liberties...

OFMN said...

having my cake is certainly correct.

I've have not yet had the experience of working within a nursing home, but we learn enough about them within Uni. The quite sad fact is that the better and more friendly the nursing home, the more likely someone with Chuck's confusion-come-determination is able to get out as they don't want to take drastic, cruel and unnecessary measures to keep him there. If the staff were all evil despots, they might've pumped him full of Temazepam and considered 'job done'.

steph said...

BG - The comment from 'having my cake' is VERY true...

"The trouble is that with dementia comes determination and a physical strength that seems incongruous in such frail creatures. It's so hard to find the correct line between the patient's safety and their civil liberties"

When my mother first went into full-time care, she couldn't understand the concept of pushing a bell/button to ask for assistance at night. As a result, the staff were obliged to put up side-rails on her bed to keep her safe. It had the opposite effect as my mother just saw the rails as an obstacle to be overcome, and horrendous falls resulted. Eventually, the n/h had to provide her with a full-time night nurse (from an agency) until a space became available for my mother in the properly staffed dementia unit.