Of course it was eventful. I can't open my front door without ensuing chaos and today was no exception. I actually found the hospital without getting lost, quite an achievement as my sense of direction is so bad I don't even know which way I have to turn out of my road to get to the shops. Despite the easy journey I couldn't find a parking space at the (community) hospital, set up to serve mainly elderly and vulnerable people by people with no understanding that most have terrible mobility problems. Fortunately with a bit of flirting the car park attendant allowed me to park my car outside the building I needed and kept an eye on it for me, though it was still a struggle to make the distance to clinic.
I saw a very sweet old man who had I not known better I would have thought pre dated the NHS altogether. No, not in the waiting room, he was the consultant. I'm used to the look of bewildered horror I get when I see a new doctor these days, and it always goes one of two ways. Either they are so freaked out by it all they try to pretend I don't exist and make out I'm telling a pack of lies in the hope they'll be able to bluff their way through the consultation or they remain bewildered and freaked out but do their best to help. Fortunately today's doctor fell into the latter category and was really very sweet. I'm not quite sure why he kept winking at me though. Perhaps he was as keen on the pink tights as the workmen who all stood in a row and stared at me when I gimped past them. Yep. It's got to be the tights.
After some stripping, various exclamations of dismay at my joints, a few dislocations and much wobbling not helped by the nurse who kept making me laugh, I was sent off to have x-rays of my hips, SI joint, and spine. It should have been very straightforward but the computer system was hideously complicated and outdated, which in combination with my sweet old man consultant caused many problems. 10 minutes and 1 medical student, 2 nurses and myself having made (helpful of course) suggestions the x-rays were booked.
After the obligatory questions from the clinic nurse about how on earth do I remain so cheerful
I stupidly insisted on walking to x-ray as I could see the building about 20 meters away and only discovered when it was too late that I had to go so far around to avoid the building works that I nearly didn't make it at all. I took the
When I arrived back at clinic there was much bitching from the other patients. All of whom were elderly and more mobile than I. I apologised and said it was my fault the doctor was running late but they were having none of it and carried on moaning. I hope they weren't rude when they got into their appointments!
Then it was time for my favourite medical explanation ever. It goes something like this....well, it all looks normal. Except it doesn't look normal at all. I just don't know why. Oh, and you've definitely got some sort of congenital abnormality there, but I've never seen anything quite like it before. I never keep a straight face through that speech! Happily my hips/SI/spine aren't showing much degenerative change yet, though even I could tell the x-rays just looked a bit, well weird. There's no other way to describe it really. The concern is that with the amount of stress I put on my hips by 'walking' on them as they dislocate in and out that eventually they may just fracture.
I was booked in for my DEXA scan and invited back in four months time, whilst the consultant quizzed me about what I did to keep my brain active and then about the world of blogging. Bless.
The very nice nurse wheeled me out to my car. At which point my proprioceptive genius kicked into action and I scraped it along the wall I'd parked next to.
Then I finished off my chaotic day by coming home to wait for the nice man to arrive to fix my shower. I sat on the loo eating my soup while he begged me to just give him a snog at least. Which is far more innocent than I've made it sound. Apart from the begging to be snogged thing. That I'll leave up to your imaginations.
And if today's doctor should manage to find this blog, which given his technological skills I somehow doubt...thank you. You were kind, considerate and wanted to help. I appreciate it and hope the other patients didn't give you too hard a time.