More Mac But Still No Cheez

12/09/2008 04:55:00 pm BenefitScroungingScum 10 Comments

Apologies for the long delay in posting. I am no more cripped up than usual but because of the housing situation I'm still very much busier than usual. Thank you for all the emails and expressions of concern, I may not be able to reply to comments properly at the moment but I read each and every one and they all make a huge difference.

The good news is I've sold lots of old clothes on ebay, the bad news is the estate agents came today to value the house. Whilst they were here I asked about rental properties which I was told were readily available until I mentioned they would have to be below £500 a month when the agent went white and insisted it was not her area of expertise. I haven't quite got the inner mental strength required to explain less than £400 a month would be more realistic for what I can afford, even if it is laughable considering the rental market conditions. The letter I received from the local authority informing me they were reducing my housing benefit because the value of the property had lowered should warm anyone's cockles. Especially as they took that action some months prior to the credit crunch but still managed to 'forget' the millions they had sitting in Icelandic banks.

In other news having survived all these years as a borked person without anyone trying to heal me, I've now had two such offers within a month. The first seemed to amuse many people, the second, volunteered by a person known locally as Paedo Paul-well, his nickname should tell you all you need know about the veracity of his opinions, but if not...

I met Paedo Paul through a mutual friend. For legal reasons I should explain that no-one suspects him of actual paedophilia but his strong desire for young looking Thai women is no secret. And yes, such men are always irresistibly attracted to me. It's the ringlets and height I think, unfortunately neither of which are within my power to change. Anyway, Paedo Paul has an amazing herbalist doctor. A doctor who PP claims can cure anything. A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. I suggested that genetic disorders might not be within the herbalist doctor's remit but Paedo Paul was not deterred. Clearly he likes his women not only to look unfeasibly young but be of the non borked variety too. And yes, of course he looks like a less attractive Frank Gallagher...Paedo Paul is not on benefits though, so obviously has far higher social standing than those of us the media currently considers the devil incarnate. Ah the irony of paedophiles being preferable to us disabled people benefit claiming, society destroying economic drains. Never let it be said I don't know my place.

Anyway, Paedo Paul was determined his herbalist doctor could cure me. Proper cure mind, none of your fancy schmanzy 'healing' for this guy. Who by the way is not a medical doctor. In case you'd not guessed that already. I always check because there are some medical doctors also preying onworking as alternative therapists the vulnerable benefit stealing scumbags The easiest thing to do in such situations is to smile sweetly and provide the required information as generally refusing just prolongs the situation and means having to listen to endless bullshit various justifications of why their healer is better than my bendy people specialist*. In this particular case that was the correct spelling of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (pronounced Ay-lers if anyone has wondered) I am now waiting with baited breath to find out what this con artist healer recommends for eliminating genetic disorders. Whatever herbal remedybullshit they insist will work is bound to be alot less fun than my chosen herbal cure all.

That's all for now, but bait your breath** for more forthcoming Bog Off! toilet photos...the Scottish Parliament no less. Thank you Jim. Oh, and a photo of me. If you're really unlucky that is!

* Yes, it is looking likely we will lose the only full time specialist for EDS and HMS in the UK. Whilst there is another based in London he is well past retirement age now and the hoped for replacement was no longer to replace last I heard. Even so the hoped for replacement is more interested in HMS and not the management of those of us lucky enough to be completely fucked. If any doctors are interested in such specialisation it is worth knowing that it is a specialty in which your patients will adore you-an unusual situation in the modern NHS.
** Don't hold it my current posting speed you'll be very deaded.


Dark Side said...

Good to know you are ok and not dropped off the face of the earth, how crap about the properties hope you find something soon darl and you take care...xx

Unknown said...

I know what SWMBO goes through and her manifestation of EDS is not as severe as yours. My heart just aches for you and the pain you deal with. If there is justice anywhere - if God truly hears and answers prayers, then there will be a way for me to help you, because that's what I want more than anything, right now. To be able to help you.

R said...

Oh, crap. What's going on about Prof Bird? He's my consultant too...

Trixie said...

Geez, where do you meet these weirdos? Is there a special convention you attend????

Fire Byrd said...

That's terrible about there being no expert in EDS, must make the future from a treatment point of view scary.
And I'm only writing this cause I don't know what to say about your housing situation, which feels obviously much more urgent and frightening.
Thinking of you though, for what it's worth.

Nicey said...

Glad that your back, you dropped of my radar !! glad also that you have some avenues to explore in terms of treatment. You seem to have an open mind which is good in the healing process.
Take care


Anonymous said...

What an amazing fellow you seem to have discovered. But to round your figure up to a nice 3

I'll cure ya ;) No guarantees it will actually work, but the treatment will be fun and quite pleasant :)

Probably carries more of a chance of a cure than the other 2 nut-jobs you have mentioned :)

HUGZ hun

Oh, re housing, I am sure a friend of mine is currently renting a 1 bed flat for around the £400 a month mark, 'tother-side of the wet bit from where you are tho. There are still some empty too and on the ground floor, new build.

Dave said...

Glad you're back BG. Missed you.


RE PROF Last I heard ( from Prof's Sec), if no one comes up to the plate as a replacement, Prof will most probably stay on and just take EDS/HMS/Performing arts as those are his special interest groups anyhoo...
I thought I had mentioned this but may not have done and in any case nothing is it?

LOL at the Paedo Paul as as you know I have had my share of similar situations these past few months ( the woman I told you about last week for instance!)..Sorry can;t meet up this week..Kidlets still poorly - little man has the fever that wee one has just shaken ever so slightly...and I took Little man for xray today so am wiped out..funny how little it tales... WILL meet up soon though, love and hugs

Ms O

Anonymous said...

These stories of people wanting to heal you are just plain creepy. I have met some weirdos in my time that think they can heal a genetic disorder (ummm....obviously that is not possible at this point in time)...anyway, I run and run fast.