Dear MI5

3/10/2009 02:56:00 pm BenefitScroungingScum 12 Comments

My career in the army was cut short before it started on the grounds that I'm a complete spaz. I was quite accepting of that until I saw this gentlemanmuppet is suing you for disability discrimination. So now I plan to sue you, MI6 and the armed forces.

No, I haven't actually applied for any jobs, but on the basis that I'm a cripple and we have the DDA I expect you to employ me.

A job as a mobile bugging device would suffice, I know you have teeny tiny technology nowadays but I'm really rather teeny tiny too and I'm sure I could live in a light fitting for weeks on end.

'What's that you say? I'd have to live in a light fitting without being detected. Oh.'

But this manmoron didn't seem to think the ability to move independantly was needed for a role as mobile surveillance operative so I don't see why having to get out of a light fitting to eat, drink, pee and put dislocations back every 30 seconds should bar me either.

Looking forward to my massive compensation settlement.

Lots of love, Bendy Girl


Unknown said...

Mwahaha! It pains me to say it but Suleman is a twat of the first order. Reasonable adjustment means just that - reasonable. I do actually know some disabled people who drive over 5000 miles a year so it is entirely possible to do such a job at M15 as a disabled person. There's so much I want to rant about now but I don't know where to start and anyway I'm laughing too hard. Just staggered that he seriously expected to be given the job over better qualified candidates (note I said qualified and not abled).

alhi said...

Absokutely F*****g ridiculous. I HATE the law.

alhi said...

Thanks, just don't go dislocating things in keeping everything crossed for me!

madsadgirl said...

He cannot seriously believe that they should have employed him surely? Please tell me it is a joke. If he did believe it then I would suggest that it was his lack of intelligence rather than his disability that told against him.

Fire Byrd said...

You couldn't make it up.... what a twat.
I'd have him diagnosed with an over inflated sense of grandiosity which would make him unequal to the task of modestly hiding in the background.
How is the light fitting living working out.... LOL!

Mary said...

It's no longer enough that the chancers/fraudsters/con-men/muppets abuse the benefit application system and get all disabled benefit applicants a bad name... now they have to abuse the concept of the DDA and 'reasonable' adjustment to get disabled job applicants a bad name too.

It's nice to see that our UK brethren are taking a page out of our long and glorious frivolous lawsuit history, and applying it so thoughtfully.

This fool in the article deserves to have his benefits taken away from him. he wants to be a spy that much, then he can go out and look for a regular job.

What is that wonderful Irish word for this guy? Oh yes, "gobshite."

Dark Side said...

To right Bendy, you go for it..xx

Nicey said...

Nice one Bendy, I like your style go get em hun.....


James Higham said...

LOL - love this.

Robert said...

Right I cannot walk, and I use a wheelchair, as one employer asked do you really need a wheelchair or is it for show. According to the governments new ESA medical having a wheelchair and being able to move it your self, means under the DDA your now mobile, the same definition is used if you can walk, the definition being you can get from A to B under your own control.

So what is my disability, I'm not mobile I have no legs, but I've got a wheelchair which now means under the new rules it's the same as having legs. Ok if I had legs I could join the police because my educations good enough, I could join the army, I could do anything, because under the definition I'm able bodied.

Of course this person is wrong, but then again who's the biggest idiot him or the government who thinks a set of wheels makes you mobile, I need help to get out of my home because we have four steps, the pavement is over 4 inches high and f*cking cars park on the pavement, half the stores in my area have no lifts, yet we are now according to this shit government 90% accessible.

I did not ask Labour to do it.