Pain Clinic

2/22/2010 04:51:00 pm BenefitScroungingScum 3 Comments

I feel a bit nauseous. Quite a bit nauseous in fact. Tomorrow is back to gluten free living so I have spent the past few days binging on all the scrummy foods excluded from a gluten free diet. There has been lots of pizza, vast quantities of rubbishy sliced white bread and so far this afternoon there may have been two chocolate eclairs and a slice of cake. Oh, and more pizza. No wonder Bendycat looks disgusted, she didn't get any of it.

Poor Bendycat, 17 is old for a cat, and this cold weather is hurting her. I know because she behaves in exactly the same way I do when in pain, gimping from room to room of the flat emitting pitiful yowls as she goes. At least her medication works well, so she'll be fine in a day or so and I'll still be contemplating the tuna/metacam cocktail myself.

I need to stop eating before I start on the furniture.

I suspect the reason I forgot to blog about Pain Clinic is that it wasn't especially interesting after all that fuss. I arrived and had just enough time to pop to the loo before I was called through-it must be the most on time hospital clinic of any. Ever. There wasn't even enough time to take BogOff photos.

I was a bit nervous when Dr Pain started to ask questions about how the Ehlers Danlos Syndrome was diagnosed, as that's often a precursor to a doctor taking it upon themselves to insist I'm not that flexible. Fair point if you're comparing me to an actual rubber band, but less so if compared to a functioning human being. However, Dr Pain was just curious and further endeared himself to me by insisting none of the pain clinic staff have any idea what it really feels like to live with chronic pain. The plan to continue slowly reducing the dosage of Oxycontin by 10mg every two to three weeks was confirmed and another appointment made for three months time, by which I'll hopefully be Oxycontin free. Like I say, hopefully.

Somewhat stupidly I forgot to bring up the subject of overall pain management, but as it's not really going to be possible to get an accurate idea of what kind of pain control I'll need until the effects of the Oxycontin are out of the picture that's probably sensible. Unfortunately this is all coinciding with the most significant cannabis drought in months. Fortunately some nice, slightly dodgy, but compassionate
criminalcannabis grower has requested I take up the position of official tester. I'm optimistic about the role, and it won't even upset the DWP as there's no pay and working conditions involve staying snuggled up in the warm until unconsciousness.

The most interesting part of the whole pain clinic experience happened when I was leaving. My local hospital has the pay at a machine located not next to the parking barrier system, which is an absolute nightmare for anyone of limited mobility. Being wise to this before I left the clinic I asked the nurse how far it was to the machine. She told me 'it was just there' which wasn't overly helpful, and insisted on confirming how 'just there' it was by taking me to the window to show me. A further 'but it's just there' was the initial response to my asking if someone could perhaps walk to get the ticket for me please. In the end I had to very specifically state that although, 'yes, it was just there, just there was further than I could walk' before the penny dropped and she agreed to ask the Healthcare Assistant (HCA) to get the ticket for me.

The HCA very kindly did go and purchase the ticket on my behalf, and I was particularly comforted by her statement that 'I really was in a bad way wasn't I' when she saw me walking. Most people just comment on my shiny red boots!


lanlylonglegs said...

Don't you just love the way these muppets that plan the ticket machines in carparks so that the disabled have to hike a mile and a half to get a ticket?
Even worse is when you have paid, gone in for your appt then come out to discover some bright spark has put an 'Out of Order' notice on your machine - why didn't the damned thing conk out before I paid up?

Glad today wasn't too bad at the PC, sounds like Dr Pain isn't one of the bad guys :o)

Also good to hear of the weed contact...can't do without the good old herbal sleeping rememdies can we ;)

Give BC a fuss from me please

Achelois said...

What annoys me in a way though BG is that 'they' didn't bring up overall pain management! I wonder how much that appointment cost to agree with the plan you already had in place with your gp.

Last time they looked at me the Consultant nearly threw up and I am 45 so not nearly as bendy as I was. I proceded to tell him that its not kind anyhow to ask a bendy bod to exhibit it at appointment further to diagnosis as it can cause unnecessary pain. He informed me that never again would he do so in his own best interests!

No Bogoff tut tut...

They will tick a box on the computer indicating no doubt that it was them that are wholly responsible for your contined success in stopping the med which you are stopping. Mushy brain now.

You can have my cat she is 19 and her 17 year old son sadly passed away of a very dramatic heart attack just after Christmas. She hasn't stopped miaowing since and I mean hasn't stopped. I keep explaining over and over he is in cat heaven but she is still looking for him. However much she is grieving her constant calling is driving me insane.

Well i shall before before I outstay my welcome.

Don't get me started on stupid ticket machines suffice to say good on you for making your point.

Achelois: I was offered a pain management course, but the consultant was happy to agree there didn't seem much point for me. We did very briefly touch upon longer term pain management but it's impossible to sort that out whilst I'm coming off Oxycontin

Re cats. Oh poor cat, poor you! I had the same problem with Bendycat when her mum had to be put to sleep a couple of years ago. I really didn't think Bendycat would ever settle, she pined so terribly, didn't want to eat, wouldn't stop howling etc. However, around about the 3 month mark she started to get used to it and now is very definitely happier as a single cat, she's changed in all kinds of positive ways.
I think I might've taken her to the vets for a short course of valium around that time as she was in such a state, it's incredibly effective for calming down stressed out cats without zombifying or upsetting them, plus it's only for a very short period of time.
You can also get these hormone dispenser things which give out some sort of comforting cat calming pheremones. Again I used one at the time. They are quite expensive but very much worth it as the hormones seem to be very comforting to the cats, plus it helps to cover up the scent of the 'missing' cat so the remaining cat isn't constantly desperately searching for them. Hope this'll help like it did for Bendycat Xx